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"He Comes Next" is a helpful guide for women everywhere to pleasure their men thoroughly. This summary seeks to debunk the myths surrounding things that maximize the pleasure of sexual intercourse. Dr. Ian Kerner suggests a trusted methodology behind his brand-new philosophy of maximizing male pleasure. Kerner channels his well of knowledge into a manual for women who have trouble understanding their partner's minds.
Dr. Ian Kerner is a renowned and licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sexuality counselor. He specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy, and working with individuals on a range of relational issues that often lead to distress. Dr. Kerner is also the New York Times best-selling author of “She Comes First” (Harper Collins), which has translations in more than a dozen languages.
“Keeping the genitals well protected is an instinctual matter for every man. If a man has to cross a dark room filled with potential obstacles he might bump into, he'll instinctively guard his junk against any painful collisions.” ~ Dr. Ian Kerner
Key points
1
Sex isn't merely a physical act; it is also profoundly psychological
The male genitals are often the reference for the measure of manliness in regards to size and performance. Dr. Ian Kerner explains that the male genitalia is a large, protected area of the body because it sits at the confluence point for the emotional insecurities heaped upon it by society. This need for safety stems from a fear of vulnerability, a reluctance to be open. Thus, a man unconsciously protects his pelvic area because it is highly sensitive.
The male genitalia are the cause for a lot of insecurity today in men because of society's size standards.
In sex and sexual stimulation, the penis holds many “sweet spots,” but only one gets significant attention from men and their partners: the glans. It is the soft bulb at the tip of the penis and is heavily sensitive to stimulation. It is the area the man is quickest to get an orgasm from, wildly if he's been frequently masturbating. Further down is the shaft, which holds the engine of the penis as it houses three muscle bindings that draw in blood during arousal and hold it until he finishes; this area of the penis is of great concern to the man because it can vary in size and width.
Often, sex gets misconstrued as merely a physical act, but it is more psychological than physical. The aversion to letting women go beyond the penis to the scrotum or the forbidden spot — the anus, is based on his desire to maintain control. The pelvis offers so much vulnerability that he's unwilling to let go because society asks him to always be in control. But men have G-spots, too, yes. Where? It’s located about three inches inside the rectum. If he wants a fulfilling orgasm and trusts you, he'd let you touch him there.
Often, sex gets misconstrued as merely a physical act, but it is more psychological than physical. The aversion to letting women go beyond the penis to the scrotum or the forbidden spot — the anus, is based on his desire to maintain control. The pelvis offers so much vulnerability that he's unwilling to let go because society asks him to always be in control. But men have G-spots, too, yes. Where? It’s located about three inches inside the rectum. If he wants a fulfilling orgasm and trusts you, he'd let you touch him there.
Sex for men is more profound than just a physical act; it's more psychological than we think.
In the following chapters of this summary, we shall explore the many complexities of the male genitalia, how to please your man, and some of the reasons you might have difficulty pleasing him regardless of your efforts. We will also get a comprehensive look at the mental aspects of sex and just how to gain mastery of the art of sexual pleasure.
2
The implications of desire in a healthy sexual relationship do not get enough attention
Dr. Ian Kerner cites sexual responses occur in four stages: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. But one step is often omitted: desire. Desire is left out is because we think it is part of arousal, but this makes having sex seem like a mechanical activity devoid of any emotion, which is untrue. Men require an emotional connection in sex just as much as women. Desire doesn't begin in the pelvis; it starts in the mind and sustains sexual relationships to a large extent. Men won't just sleep with anyone, and there has to be, on some level, a measure of desire.
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3
To reduce boredom during sexual intercourse, you can throw in some novel ideas to spice things up
4
There is a naughtier side to foreplay and intimacy that can bring about boundless pleasure
5
There is a tedious connection between the heart and the penis, although most people don't realize it
6
The physical approach to increasing the pleasure experience during sexual intercourse requires all hands to be on deck
7
Several techniques can maximize the pleasure of sexual intercourse
8
