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Summary of The Will to Change 

What’s inside

Discover the harm of patriarchal ideology and understand what true manhood and masculinity are. Start shaping a new kind of male-female relationship full of love and acceptance.

Key points


Patriarchy is the suppressor of men’s capacity to love

Men are from Mars; women are from Venus. It’s a man’s world. These are a few of the many inflammatory titles produced by modern culture that promote the beaten narrative: patriarchy has buried its claws too deep, masculinity is the only benchmark for a man to follow, and being sensitive means, well, you’ve got the idea. Bell Hooks, an American social activist and writer, presents her observations about the long-established half-myth about men unwilling to change and the role of feminism in nurturing male sincerity.

The primary pain of today’s manhood is the incapability of love caused by a toxic patriarchal culture that forbids men to express their emotions freely. Moreover, it doesn’t teach them the value of sensitivity and instead highlights the supremacy of men's power, authority, and rage as a source of inner force. Equally important, men are not alone in nurturing this narrative — since transformations are always hard, most women find hatred an appropriate means of combating patriarchy. And yet only the difficult road can bring us to the relationship order grounded on love, respect, and honesty. The risk is worth taking.
Feminists are responsible for fighting for gender equality and showing men there’s a pathway for reviving men's nature. Men CAN love, empathize, care, and be true friends — patriarchal culture just forced them to live into oblivion for too long.
With this in mind, Hooks figures out how to think about men expanding beyond the limits of toxic patriarchy. It turns out that most men are not resistant to inner transformation; instead, they don’t know how to navigate the universe of feelings, even those that may hurt them. Patriarchy doesn’t issue directions on how to be a deeply caring human.

Due to this tidbit, you'll discover why many women don’t believe men and cannot establish an emotional connection with them. More importantly, you’ll find out the reasons behind toxic masculinity and whether men genuinely do not want to change. Indeed, it takes an ocean to know yourself; however, it is never too late to get sail and start up the trail.

A loving man: job description

It is sad to admit it, but most women live with a pathological lack of male love. They crave genuine affection, and this longing is not limited to romantic feelings. Women starve for caring lovers, compassionate friends, empathetic co-workers, kind fathers, and brothers. But the patriarchal machine generates the idea that men shouldn’t demonstrate their feelings (it makes them weak). As a result, we’ve developed a culture where people, regardless of gender, are deficient in love, an essential nutrient for their personal growth and empathetic temper.
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A closer look at patriarchy: what does it mean to be a boy?


Roses are red; violets are blue, patriarchy fuels violence


Men from the planet Work


A feminist woman walks into a bar


To be healed, to be reinvented, to be loved



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You’ll learn

T​he role of true feminism
What is the "real men" narrative
How does it feel to be a boy
What is the crisis of masculinity

What is The Will to Change about?

Who should read The Will to Change

Topics in The Will to Change