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The Explosive Child

summary ofThe Explosive ChildBook by Ross W. Greene, PhD

11 min
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You’ll learn

  • What drives the meltdowns
  • How to turn outbursts into solvable problems
  • What to say when your child won't talk
  • Why knowing lagging skills matters
  • When to step back

first KEY POINT

Where calm begins

You can usually feel it coming. A certain look, and you find yourself stepping carefully, hoping that this snack or this small change of plans won't be the thing that tips the day over.If you're here, you've probably tried a lot already. The stern talks that went nowhere. The bargaining, the time-outs, the counting to ten that never quite held. And underneath it, a tired, private worry that you might be getting this wrong.Take a breath. You haven't run out of options. This summary offers a gentler way to understand these hard moments, one that has nothing to do with being stricter or softer. It's the approach Ross Greene built over decades. So, by the end, you'll see your child and the next hard moment a little differently.

second KEY POINT

Your child would behave if they could

Meet Jennifer, age 11. One morning, she shoves her mom out of the way rather than share a plate of waffles with her little brother. It isn't the first time. She sat through years of therapy and outlasted every reward chart the family taped to the fridge. Does it mean her parents chose the wrong reward? More likely, the approach itself is aimed at the wrong target.The everyday explanations all miss in the same way. "They just want attention," people say. But everyone wants attention, and that tells you nothing about why this particular child can only get it by coming apart.Another goes, "They're manipulating you." Real manipulation is a sophisticated performance; it takes forethought and steady nerves, the very capacities a struggling kid tends to lack.Or the catch-all, "They aren't motivated". Yet think of children who fail at the same predictable moment, again and again, with the consequences right in front of them. They aren't short on the wish to do well.

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first KEY POINT

Every blowup is a clue

second KEY POINT

Fix the cause, not the chaos

third KEY POINT

Solving it together

fourth KEY POINT

When talking stalls

fifth KEY POINT

Conclusion

sixth KEY POINT

Try this

About the author

Ross W. Greene is an American clinical psychologist who has worked with families and children for over 30 years. He developed the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model.

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Frequently asked questions

What is The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children about?

The Explosive Child, authored by Ross W. Greene, offers a compassionate framework for understanding children who struggle with flexibility. It provides strategies for parents to address their child’s explosive behaviors by fostering collaboration and emotional intelligence.

Who is the author of The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children?

The book is written by Ross W. Greene, a renowned clinical psychologist with extensive experience in child development and behavioral challenges.

Is The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children worth reading?

Absolutely! The Explosive Child is invaluable for parents of difficult children, offering practical insights and techniques to improve family dynamics and reduce conflicts.

How many pages is The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children and when was it published?

The Explosive Child consists of approximately 320 pages and was first published in 1998, providing timeless guidance for modern parenting challenges.

What are key takeaways from The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children?

Key takeaways include embracing a proactive mindset in addressing behavioral issues, the importance of understanding a child’s perspective, and working collaboratively to solve problems instead of resorting to punitive measures.