You’ll learn
- What drives the meltdowns
- How to turn outbursts into solvable problems
- What to say when your child won't talk
- Why knowing lagging skills matters
- When to step back
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first KEY POINT
You can usually feel it coming. A certain look, and you find yourself stepping carefully, hoping that this snack or this small change of plans won't be the thing that tips the day over.If you're here, you've probably tried a lot already. The stern talks that went nowhere. The bargaining, the time-outs, the counting to ten that never quite held. And underneath it, a tired, private worry that you might be getting this wrong.Take a breath. You haven't run out of options. This summary offers a gentler way to understand these hard moments, one that has nothing to do with being stricter or softer. It's the approach Ross Greene built over decades. So, by the end, you'll see your child and the next hard moment a little differently.
second KEY POINT
Meet Jennifer, age 11. One morning, she shoves her mom out of the way rather than share a plate of waffles with her little brother. It isn't the first time. She sat through years of therapy and outlasted every reward chart the family taped to the fridge. Does it mean her parents chose the wrong reward? More likely, the approach itself is aimed at the wrong target.The everyday explanations all miss in the same way. "They just want attention," people say. But everyone wants attention, and that tells you nothing about why this particular child can only get it by coming apart.Another goes, "They're manipulating you." Real manipulation is a sophisticated performance; it takes forethought and steady nerves, the very capacities a struggling kid tends to lack.Or the catch-all, "They aren't motivated". Yet think of children who fail at the same predictable moment, again and again, with the consequences right in front of them. They aren't short on the wish to do well.

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