"Man is by nature a social animal … Anyone who either cannot lead the common life or is so self-sufficient as not to need to, and therefore does not partake of society, is either a beast or a god." –Aristotle
Effective communication skills are the cornerstone of success in personal relationships, workplace communication, and social interactions. Seventy percent (70%) of global employers say communication is the most desirable skill in potential recruits. Also, research shows that couples who communicate positively are more likely to face challenges together and have a 20% higher chance of lasting relationships compared to those who avoid discussing their problems.
Whether you're leading a business meeting or having meaningful conversations with loved ones, your ability to convey clear ideas and listen actively makes all the difference. You can explore insightful books like 'How to Talk to Anyone,' 'Cues,' and '4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication' to refine your communication skills. If you want to deepen your learning efficiently, Headway's book summaries offer a quick, engaging way to absorb these valuable lessons.
Step 1: Set up a daily practice routine
Did you know that 86 % of workplace failures stem from communication issues? Poor communication can be a decisive factor in job dismissals or rejections.
Effective communication relies on the topics discussed, our motivations for discussing them, how we interact, and how we express our attitudes toward one another.
Many people wrestle with low self-esteem as a psychological barrier. Contrary to popular belief, confidence isn't innate — it's often built through years of dedicated work, developing open thinking, and fostering beneficial habits. Building self-confidence requires desire, persistence, systematic effort, and, most importantly, action.
"Just give 'em great posture, a heads-up look, a confident smile, and a direct gaze - that's the ideal image for somebody who's a somebody." ― Leil Lowndes, 'How to Talk to Anyone'
There's a powerful technique for tracking achievements and identifying your personal success strategy for a more confident you. By recording and analyzing your communication successes and failures, you gain valuable experience that helps you confidently convey thoughts and arguments in future interactions.
"TECHNIQUE #9 WATCH THE SCENE BEFORE YOU MAKE THE SCENE Rehearse being the Super Somebody you want to be ahead of time. SEE yourself walking around with Hang by Your Teeth posture, shaking hands, smiling the Flooding Smile, and making Sticky Eyes. HEAR yourself chatting comfortably with everyone. FEEL the pleasure of knowing you are in peak form and everyone is gravitating toward you. VISUALIZE yourself a Super Somebody. Then it all happens automatically." ― Leil Lowndes, 'How to Talk to Anyone'
Start by practicing eye contact alone or with people you're comfortable with. Go to the mirror and start a conversation with yourself, maintaining eye contact with your reflection. Don't do it mindlessly; immerse yourself in the process. Practicing this technique twice weekly is a great start to achieving results.
Mirroring another person, subtly imitating their body language, gestures, or speech, is a powerful tool that enhances attractiveness and confidence. Mirroring someone creates a sense of mutual understanding, making the other person more comfortable around you. It's a nonverbal way of saying, "I'm like you, and I understand you." It can also build stronger connections while making you feel more confident and attractive.
"When you act as though you like someone, you start to really like them."― Leil Lowndes, 'How to Talk to Anyone'
Above all, believe in yourself. After all, the most effective way to appear confident is to genuinely believe in your own worth. Body language methods won't work without believing in your values and abilities. When you truly value yourself, confidence radiates naturally and reflects in your body language — you stand straighter and speak more assertively and confidently. Remember, confidence starts from within, and when you believe in yourself, others will, too.
"When you try to be the same as everyone else, it's boring. When you try to fit into a mold, you become forgettable. When you try to be "normal," you become dull. Just be yourself, because no one is like you. If you're a little weird, own it. The right people will like you for it." – Vanessa Van Edwards, 'Captivate'
Step 2: Master verbal and non-verbal communication
Communication is essential in every aspect of daily life — from purchasing goods and services to negotiating with partners and sharing moments with friends. Poor communication skills can make life difficult for personal relationships and professional development.
The key to better communication
To avoid miscommunications, make your point clear, add context, and then deliver your key ideas. Use simple words and avoid idioms, phrasal verbs, and slang — this will help you succeed.
When speaking, be mindful of the filler words in English communication. These words or sounds are often used to fill awkward pauses when thinking about what to say next.
"The overuse of filler words such as 'um,' 'uh,' 'you know,' and 'like' can weaken the delivery of your message and diminish your credibility. Becoming aware of these habits and consciously replacing them with pauses will help you speak with more authority and clarity." – Bento C. Leal III, '4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication'
For example, frequently using "like" can make speech confusing and less clear. Without this word, sentences become more precise and easier for listeners to understand.
Nonverbal cues
In communication psychology, understanding and interpreting nonverbal signals and body language plays an important role. Good communication skills help improve communicative interaction between people, increase perception, and develop emotional intelligence.
"People form impressions of you in the first few seconds based on how you move, your posture, and your expressions." – Vanessa Van Edwards, 'Cues'
Remarkably, about 65% of communication is nonverbal. Your body language — facial expressions, gestures, posture, tone of voice, and movements — creates an immediate impression on others. Your body constantly sends signals that reveal your emotional state, whether you're feeling nervous, uncomfortable, frightened, or in need of support.
"A charismatic tone can make you appear more confident and trustworthy, while a flat tone can turn off your listener." – Vanessa Van Edwards, 'Cues'
Pay close attention to your feelings when you communicate with someone. For example, if you notice yourself avoiding eye contact during stressful situations, focus on that next time and be sure to make eye contact.
"Your eyes are personal grenades that have the power to detonate people's emotions." – Leil Lowndes, 'How to Talk to Anyone'
Step 3: Develop active listening
Listening and asking questions are fundamental skills for improving interpersonal communication. Strong listening skills allow people to understand and connect with others, making it easier to have a positive attitude and show interest and respect for what others think and feel. Strong communication is a two-way street.
"Grow more by listening than talking." – Leil Lowndes, 'How to Talk to Anyone'
Active listening involves more than just hearing words — it requires your physical presence in the conversation, careful attention to information, detection of the other person's emotional state, and recognition of their nonverbal communication cues. It requires us to be focused, tolerant, and open to other points of view.
"Listening is really a very active act. It's not simply where you throw the words (active)." – Bento C. Leal III, '4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication'
Your ability to ask meaningful questions helps to drive conversations and reveal the depth of the topic. To succeed in active listening, expand your vocabulary for better paraphrasing, learn to clarify effectively, ask questions, identify and summarize critical points, express empathy, and use encouraging phrases.
"Never be left speechless again. Like a parrot, simply repeat the last few words your conversation partner says. That puts the ball right back in his or her court, and then all you need to do is listen." – Leil Lowndes, 'How to Talk to Anyone'
When practicing active listening, focus on the speaker and show genuine interest through nonverbal cues and body language. Being observant helps you notice nonverbal cues of the other person's feelings. You can express interest by asking thoughtful questions and showing curiosity about their perspective. When you acknowledge others' feelings and demonstrate understanding by seeing situations from their viewpoint, you create a supportive environment that encourages open communication.
Step 4: Build empathy and emotional intelligence
Communication is always about contact from both sides and understanding each other verbally and emotionally. That is why empathy should be developed, as it's the ability to understand another person's feelings and express care for them.
Enhancing interpersonal skills
Empathy fosters closeness, establishes trust, and strengthens relationships. By developing your interpersonal skills, you become better at recognizing others' emotional states, thoughts, and actions. Using empathy and compassion in your communications can help you connect more deeply with others and build stronger relationships while becoming more polite, tolerant, and considerate of other people's needs.
"Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival – to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated. – Stephen Covey." — Vanessa Van Edwards, 'Captivate'
Emotional intelligence became recognized when it became evident that success in both work and personal life relies more on the ability to foster relationships with others than on hard skills. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, realize, and manage your own emotions, motivations, thoughts, and behaviors while also effectively responding to others' emotional states. At the same time, it helps you understand other people better and feel their needs, motives, and behaviors.
"Empathy, the ability—a developed skill, actually—to vicariously put yourself in another person's shoes and try to see from their point of view, their world, their perspective." – Bento C. Leal III, '4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication'
Tap into your emotional superpower: Self-awareness
Self-awareness helps you understand your emotions, character, and moods. It helps you view yourself from the outside, anticipate your feelings, develop intuition, and be emotionally flexible. To develop emotional competence, enrich your emotional vocabulary, practice naming your feelings, read books about emotional intelligence, and inquire about the meaning of certain emotions.
"To effectively communicate, we must be aware not only of what we are saying but also of how we are feeling while we say it. Emotional self-awareness is key to managing our responses and connecting with others." – Leil Lowndes, 'How to Talk to Anyone'
A low level of emotional intelligence has a negative impact. Learning how to identify and manage your emotions is essential to maintaining your quality of life, effectively overcoming obstacles, and achieving genuine happiness.
Track your feelings and emotions
Keep a diary of emotions and feelings to analyze your daily experiences, feelings, and their triggers. Practice using "I feel..." statements and listen to how you feel in the moment. Learn to ask yourself, "What do I feel now?" "What is my need now?" Try to reveal your feelings through your own thoughts.
"Being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses, and knowing when to hold back or assert yourself, makes you far more approachable." – Leil Lowndes, 'How to Talk to Anyone'
Speak confidently
Scientists have found that people are more likely to believe a confident person without credentials than an experienced specialist who shows doubt. Research by Don Moore of Carnegie Mellon University in Pennsylvania shows that we prefer to receive advice from someone we trust. And so much so that many are ready to forgive their bad reputation and previous miscalculations.
"Visualize yourself as a confident person; this mental picture will help you naturally radiate confidence." – Leil Lowndes, 'How to Talk to Anyone'
We feel anxiety because we imagine our complete failure. Therefore, push your fears aside and boldly approach the person. Make sure the person is free and not occupied with urgent matters. Engage the person you wish to speak to with a warm smile and friendly opener.
How to improve communication with Headway book summaries
The strategies shared in this article are just the beginning. To master communication, explore the rich insights from 'How to Talk to Anyone,' 'Cues,' and '4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication.' For a quick and powerful way to gain valuable insights, visit the book summaries on the Headway app.
Headway is an excellent tool for ambitious individuals who value their time. While plenty of helpful nonfiction books are on the market nowadays, finding time to read them all can be a challenge. We have a solution! With Headway's abundant library, you can listen to or read book summaries and get the fundamental ideas of a book in just 15 minutes. Check more book summaries on conversation and communication skills in the Headway library to help you grow professionally and personally.
