summary ofTalking to StrangersBook by Malcolm Gladwell

second KEY POINT

The charms of a tyrant

The clouds over Europe darkened in the late 1930s as Adolf Hitler threatened to occupy the Sudetenland, a part of then Czechoslovakia, and Britain was trying to prevent another war. The German dictator covered the whole continent in fear. However, it didn't stop British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain or Foreign Secretary Lord Halifax from meeting him in person.Surprisingly, both came away with a positive impression of him. They saw his behavior as friendly and believed his assurances that Germany would go no further. In less than six months, Hitler did precisely the opposite and started World War II.But before we dismiss them as naive politicians, think about how easily first impressions shape our own judgment. Maybe you've trusted that new colleague because they seemed open and friendly, only to find out later that their friendly face was hiding something else. Or perhaps someone made a bad first impression and turned out to be nothing as you expected. So, what happened? Were the seasoned politicians really naive? Yes and no.A study led by American psychologist Emily Pronin offers one possible explanation. Participants had to fill in blanks, forming different words like "touch" or "tough," "treat" or "defeat," and so on. They believed the words they came up with revealed nothing about their own personality. But when they saw other people's answers, they were happy to draw conclusions about them.In other words, we tend to believe that other people are easier to read than we are. Psychologists call this the illusion of asymmetric insight: the belief that we understand others better than they understand us.That confidence can become a problem when we stop paying attention to what we don't know about someone. Instead of assuming we've figured them out, sometimes the better thing to do is simply listen.

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