Love Bombing Examples That Seem Romantic—But Are Red Flags

You’ve never felt so adored. They text you good morning and good night, shower you with compliments, and talk about your future together after only a few dates — and for a moment, it feels like a dream. But something feels... off. What if the affection you're receiving isn't genuine love, but a tactic to control?

I am Dr. Roxy Zarrabi, Psy.D., a Clinical Psychologist specializing in helping clients struggling with low self-esteem, anxiety, or dating/relationship challenges. And before we dive into specific examples, I’d like to start with a clear definition of what love bombing actually is and why it’s more dangerous than it might appear.

What is love bombing?

Love bombing is a behavior pattern where someone gives excessive attention and affection to another person, aiming to quickly manipulate them into a romantic relationship commitment far too early in their partnership.

As Jen Sincero notes in ‘Badass Habits,’ recognizing and breaking these manipulative patterns starts with awareness and reclaiming your power.

Understanding the signs in real-life situations can help you avoid falling into a toxic pattern with your potential partner. Here are 10 love bombing examples to look out for — each with an explanation of what makes it harmful.

10 real-life love bombing examples (with explanations)

Love bombing often masquerades as fairytale romance, making you feel like you’ve found your soulmate — until the intensity starts to feel over-the-top. Below are ten real-life examples that reveal how this manipulative tactic can be a subtle gateway into emotional abuse.

1. They tell you they love you after the second date.

   Such displays of affection to this degree early on are typically an attempt to speed up the dating process so that you will commit to exclusivity quickly.

2. They tell you within the first few weeks of dating, “I can’t wait to have a family with you.”

   Future faking is a form of love bombing that involves discussing plans for a shared future prematurely, luring you into a false sense of security. It’s considered fake because there typically isn’t any intention to follow through with these false promises once you’re committed to the relationship.

3. They take you on a spontaneous European vacation within the first month of dating.

   Love bombing includes excessive affection displays of grand romantic gestures like whisking you away on a spontaneous vacation or buying you lavish gifts soon after meeting. The goal is to get you to fall hard and fast for them by creating a fantasy about what a relationship with them would look like.

4. They tell you, “You’re perfect and nobody else can compare,” after only a few dates.

   The issue with these statements isn’t necessarily the words themselves, but when the words are said. When used early on, these sorts of statements are meant to encourage the other person to return the sentiment so that the relationship can progress at a faster pace.

5. They pressure you to move in together within the first 3 months of dating.

   The primary goal a love bomber has is to lock you in and speed up the relationship process. One of the ways to do so is to propose moving in together early on.

6. They tell you, “My life would feel meaningless without you,” during the first few weeks of meeting.

   This statement may initially feel romantic, but upon closer inspection, it is often a way that love bombers put pressure on the other person to draw them in closer and convince them of their feelings.

7. They demand exclusivity early on.

   At first, a love bomber’s actions may be perceived as romantic and refreshing, particularly if they express a desire early on to commit to you, which is contrary to modern dating culture.

   However, a love bomber will not only express a desire for exclusivity but also manipulate you into it by refusing to slow down their pace, issuing ultimatums, or trying to make you jealous if they sense you are not on the same page about exclusivity.

8. They agree with all of your preferences, interests, and opinions.

   Mirroring is a form of manipulation that love bombers use to mimic common interests and shared core values to create the illusion of compatibility.

   However, rather than allowing the discovery of these to be an organic process within the relationship, love bombers often use mirroring as a tactic to increase trust and deepen the emotional bond by saying what they think you want to hear.

9.  They expect to either be in frequent contact with you or see you a lot, leaving little room for other activities or friendships in your life.

   Love bombers may initially overwhelm you with excessive attention and expectations of constant contact, leaving minimal room for investing energy in other areas of your life.

   This behavior serves two main purposes for the love bomber. First, it increases the likelihood that you will become prematurely attached to them. And second, the amount of time and energy required to maintain the relationship may cause you to become isolated from family and friends, who may express concern about your partner. Their aim is to make it more difficult for you to leave the relationship once you are heavily invested. Learn more about red flags to look out for in a relationship in this expert guide.

10. They push or test your boundaries early on.

    Since love bombers tend to move at a fast pace, they will often become defensive or try to make you feel guilty if you attempt to set a boundary that slows down the pace of the relationship. For example, you may not feel comfortable with them coming to your place after only a few dates. A love bomber may respond by dropping by unannounced with a gift to surprise you, which is a way to test your boundaries disguised as a romantic gesture.

Learn more about setting healthy boundaries in your relationships. If you want to learn additional tips about how to build a healthy relationship with the right partner, check out ‘How to Be an Adult in Relationships,’ summarized in the Headway app.

As you can see, love bombing often hides behind what looks like a loving relationship. But the red flags are always waving in the pace and the intensity.

Signs of love bombing or how to tell love bombing vs. healthy love

Still unsure if what you're experiencing is love or an unhealthy relationship? Here’s a deeper look at the most common signs and how they differ from healthy affection.

If you’ve been on the receiving end, you might wonder: Why would someone do this? The answer lies in the psychology behind this abusive relationship.

Why do people use love bombing?

Research has demonstrated that love-bombing correlates with individuals who exhibit narcissistic tendencies, have an insecure attachment style, or have low self-esteem.

1. Love bombing due to narcissism

Love bombing is a hallmark behavior of those with narcissistic personality disorder or those who have narcissistic traits. Love bombing is a tactic narcissists use to maintain control in the relationship. Once you are fully invested in the relationship, your partner’s true colors start to show because they can only keep up the façade for so long.

What’s going on in their mind?

Love bombers who are either narcissistic or have narcissistic traits will often exhibit a pattern of love bombing behavior that begins with idealization, grand romantic gestures, and excessive praise. It then moves into the devaluation phase, during which they become critical and withdraw their affection intermittently to maintain control and keep their partner compliant. This is considered a form of abusive behavior.

Not all love bombers are narcissists. Some are simply driven by fear or anxiety in relationships and their constant need for validation.

2. Love bombing due to insecure attachment style

Those with an insecure attachment style, such as anxious, avoidant, or fearful-avoidant, may engage in love bombing due to a desire to quickly bond with the other person, not necessarily with intentions to control or devalue them.

The book ‘Attached’ by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller explains how insecure attachment styles, such as anxious or fearful-avoidant, often lead people to rush intimacy and misread emotional cues —common behaviors seen in love bombing.

What’s going on in their mind?

Those who are anxiously attached highly value intimacy and closeness, so it makes sense that someone with this attachment style would engage in love bombing behavior to increase closeness. Similarly, fearful-avoidant and avoidant attached individuals tend to initially become fully invested in their partner. They may even commit quickly and then withdraw or pull away when the fear of closeness kicks in, which is something they may not even be consciously aware of.

How love bombing affects you

• You may feel overwhelmed or smothered.

  When you are being love bombed, you may feel overwhelmed due to the amount of attention placed on you and the amount of pressure you feel to invest time and energy in the relationship early on.

• You may feel guilty when focusing on other things outside of the relationship.

  A love bomber will often find ways to dominate your time or make you feel guilty for spending time with others. This may look like frequent phone calls and texts when they know you have outside plans, or sulking and giving you the silent treatment when you return after spending time with friends.

• You may feel isolated from others.

  A love bomber will often try to isolate you over time to maintain more control over the relationship. Doing so ensures you rely only on them for support, not outside guidance. You may notice over time that when you try to make plans with friends or family, you meet resistance, pressure to drop your plans, or ultimatums.

• You may feel confused by their hot and cold behavior.

  Once love bombers know that you are fully committed, they may move into the devaluation phase that often follows the initial idealization stage of love bombing, during which they exhibit hot and cold behavior. During this stage, the love bomber will begin withdrawing their love intermittently, and you may suddenly feel as if nothing you do is good enough for them.

• You may find yourself walking on eggshells.

  Love bombers can be demanding, reactive, and possessive. So, you may find yourself anxious, cautiously suppressing your needs to maintain peace.

The good news? Once you spot love bombing signs, you can take steps to protect yourself. Here are expert-backed tips to help you navigate this challenge.

What to do if you suspect love bombing: Expert tips

1. Keep a steady pace when getting to know someone new.

   Love bombers try to dominate your time during the initial stages of dating by keeping in frequent contact with you. They may pressure you to spend more time together than initially comfortable. Since love bombers can be impatient, being mindful about maintaining a steady pace early on makes it more likely to weed them out.

   Maintaining a steady pace when getting to know someone includes taking adequate time to get to know them before committing to exclusivity and plans that are 3-6 months out. It's also about investing your energy in important areas of your life outside the relationship.

2. Practice saying no or setting boundaries early on, and observe the response.

   A love bomber’s goal is to get you attached to them as quickly as possible. As a result, they may cross your boundaries by acting as if you’re in a relationship when you aren’t yet, or texting you constantly when they know you’re with others.

   Practice setting boundaries early on. If you communicate that you want to slow down the pace of the relationship, observe how the other person responds. Do they become defensive and impatient, or are they receptive to what you’re saying? Their response can communicate a lot about their true intentions and whether they will take your needs and your comfort level into consideration, or whether they are only focused on their own needs.

3. Check in with yourself regularly.

   When you start developing feelings for someone new, it’s easy to rationalize warning signs or ignore an underlying sense that something doesn’t feel right. When you’re the recipient of love bombing, it’s even easier to dismiss early warning signs because the relationship is progressing quickly.

   Your intuition is your dating superpower. Sometimes it speaks to you through a whisper that gradually grows louder over time, and other times it's a blaring alarm bell.

   Regardless of what form it takes, it’s particularly important when dating someone new to take your time to slow down and pay attention to what your intuition is telling you. Observe how your body feels when you’re spending time with them and any concerns that may benefit from further exploration.
   
   In ‘Badass Habits,’ Jen Sincero encourages readers to employ key defenses against falling into abusive cycles like love bombing — trust their inner voice, break free from self-sabotaging patterns, and create daily routines that reinforce boundaries and self-worth.

   Get key insights on Headway

4. Be mindful not to confuse chemistry with compatibility.

   Love bombers know how to create chemistry with the object of their affection. Since the relationship pace is often sped up, you may mistake chemistry for compatibility.

   Learning about the other person’s core values and whether they align with yours is one way to prevent confusing chemistry with compatibility. If your core values don’t align, you are not compatible, and the relationship will be difficult to maintain long-term.

5. If people who care about you are expressing concern, reflect on why.

   It’s common to have blind spots during the initial stages of dating, when you’re infatuated with someone new. You may dismiss concerns from others in your life and assume they are misreading the situation.

   If trusted people in your life express similar concerns, that is your sign to check in with yourself and take the time to reflect on why they’re providing you with this feedback.

6. Pay attention to how they discuss past relationships.

   Love bombers often leave behind a string of fast-paced relationships that burned out over time, with minimal time between for self-reflection or learning from previous mistakes.

   Reflect on how they discuss their past relationships. Are they labeling their exes as “crazy” and blaming them, or are they taking accountability for their part? 

Books to read to better understand love bombing

Love bombing can feel like intense romance, full of compliments and gift-giving, but beneath the surface, it often harms your sense of self and isolates you from loved ones. These insightful books will help you understand the psychology behind love bombing and give you tools to heal, set boundaries, and build healthier relationships.

1. ‘Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love’ by Amir Levine, MD and Rachel Heller, MA

   Attachment styles are the blueprint for how you typically relate in romantic relationships. This book discusses the four main attachment styles and provides examples of how each style impacts one’s approach to dating and relationships.

   While the book does not focus primarily on love bombing, those with an insecure attachment style are more likely to engage in love bombing behavior. The book provides a description of each attachment style and how those with an insecure attachment style may show up during the initial stages of dating.

   The authors emphasize the importance of checking in with yourself early on and maintaining a steady pace during the initial stages of dating. This information can help readers identify early warning signs that a relationship is moving too fast.

   Get key insights on Headway

2. ‘Badass Habits: Cultivate the Awareness, Boundaries, and Daily Upgrades You Need to Make Them Stick’ by Jen Sincero
   This book isn’t just about building better habits but also reclaiming your power and rewriting the internal scripts that make you vulnerable to toxic relationship dynamics. Jen Sincero empowers readers to identify patterns of self-sabotage, set strong boundaries, and commit to daily choices that support self-worth and clarity — key tools for breaking the cycle of emotional abuse, including manipulative tactics like love bombing.

   Get key insights on Headway

3. ‘Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex’ by Michael Todd
   Michael Todd offers a fresh, faith-based perspective on what it takes to build a healthy, lasting relationship rooted in truth and mutual respect. This book helps readers develop a strong foundation for love by focusing on intention, self-awareness, and commitment, making it easier to recognize red flags like love bombing and differentiate genuine connection from emotional manipulation.

   Get key insights on Headway

4. ‘How to Be an Adult in Relationships’ by David Richo, PhD 

   This book provides helpful guidance and tips for building a healthy relationship and learning skills to overcome relationship conflicts.

   For additional book recommendations on learning how to set boundaries within your relationships, check out this list of expert books on setting boundaries.

   Get key insights on Headway

Let Headway summaries help you heal, grow, and protect your heart 

If you’re recognizing patterns like love bombing or recovering from emotional abuse, Headway can help. The app offers bite-sized summaries of the best books on relationships, boundaries, self-worth, and personal growth—so you can learn practical tools in just 15 minutes a day.

From ‘Badass Habits’ to ‘Relationship Goals’ and ‘How to Be an Adult in Relationships,’ you’ll get expert-backed insights to help you build healthy connections and protect your peace. Download Headway to start your growth journey today.