Although a subjective concept, happiness represents a universal goal of humanity, phasing out all cultural, societal, and individual variances. It is broadly perceived as an intrinsic good and valuable matter irrespective of any external aspects. Philosophically, happiness tends to be seen as a fundamental human necessity crucial for our well-being and sense of fulfillment; that’s why so many try to hold onto it or run after it once they lose it.
A happy life has been revered and pursued throughout different cultures and historical periods as an admirable objective. Hence, while the definition and ways people pursue lost or evading happiness may differ, the yearning for positive emotions, gratifying life, and appreciation of small things is still an eternally universal human endeavor.
How to be happy again: Is there an answer?
In this article, we explore actionable strategies for overpowering barriers, nurturing positive behaviors, and attaining long-term satisfaction with life, referring to the books 'You, Happier' by Daniel G. Amen, 'The Myth of Happiness' by Sonja Lyubomirsky, and 'The Art of Happiness' by Dalai Lama.
All writers agree that circumstances don't solely define us as unhappy or happy people but constitute an outcome of willful decisions and actions:
Amen highlights the importance of optimizing brain fitness through proper nutritional choices, regular exercises(also for maintaining an adequate heart rate), sufficient hours of sleep, and tools for navigating stress, emphasizing that a healthy brain is crucial for a joyful life.
Lyubomirsky accentuates that external circumstances are not the ultimate determinants of our own happiness. At the same time, purposeful activities such as maintaining a gratitude journal, performing random acts of kindness, and cherishing joyful events enhance one's self-contentment.
The Dalai Lama presents a spiritual viewpoint, stressing the importance of mindfulness, compassion, and inner peace as inalienable elements of a cheerful life.
Together, the authors accentuate the significance of working on positive habits, building relationships, and finding a life purpose. While their approaches and perspectives may vary, the core message remains consistent: happiness is a lifetime journey that requires persistent and continued commitment and attention to keep our stress levels in check.
The science of happiness: 'You, Happier' by Daniel G. Amen
In his book 'You, Happier,' psychiatrist and neuroscientist Daniel G. Amen discusses practical techniques for improving brain health and mood stability, underlying a principle that people deserve to be happy:
"The statistics may seem grim, but you deserve to be happy, and you can cultivate happiness even when it seems like the world is crumbling around you."
He draws connections between neuroscience and psychology, illustrating how the brain's processing of happiness correlates with the changes in mindset.
The book highlights activities and methods for:
Recognizing the fundamental values of a person;
Fostering their sense of purpose;
Establishing objectives;
Aligning thoughts and actions with objectives;
Understanding your brain's type and tailoring happiness accordingly;
Working on your brain health.
Amen offers guidance for a healing journey by presenting compelling case studies and innovative therapies, emphasizing the significance of de-constructing an intricate interplay between the brain, mind, and body.
'You, Happier': The neurobiological basis behind the "Pollyanna-like" perspective
Amen underscores the recommendation of protecting happiness by distancing oneself from internal "noise" while "training" your skills to feel happy in any situation like a famous heroine of a novel by Eleanor H. Porter:
"Pollyanna's philosophy about finding something to be glad about in any situation is an excellent way to go through life. If there were ever a good time to play the Glad Game, then today would undoubtedly qualify. But no matter what situation or setback you find yourself in, I urge you to ask yourself this question: What is there to be glad about?"
The author further substantiates the neurobiological basis behind Pollyanna's happiness-oriented mindset and presents practical approaches to improve brain health and mood. When it comes to brain health, Amen also emphasizes the importance of optimizing brain function through nutrition, physical activity, sleep, and stress management:
"On the other hand, positive, happy, and hopeful thoughts lead to a parasympathetic response: relaxed muscles, lower blood pressure, healthier heart rhythm, warmer hands and feet, clearer thinking, a healthy PFC (Protein, Fat, and Carbohydrates), and a calmer limbic brain. Those are characteristics of happy, contented individuals."
He also examines the role of neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin in regulating mood and well-being. Amen also indirectly addresses endorphins by recommending exercise, stress reduction tools, and social connection options, known to trigger their release as mood-uplifting neurotransmitters. In terms of positive reinforcement, the author advocates actively strengthening positive habits and thought patterns to boost happiness.
Care for your mind and body: Seven steps to being happy
In 'You, Happier,' Amen introduces a 7-step plan aimed at helping people uplift their mood and general well-being.
While the author explores the scientific depths of brain health and happiness, he tries to sum it up in the seven steps requiring your day-to-day focus:
1. Nourish your brain
Diet: Consume a proportional diet of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins.
Supplements: Add vitamin B12 for nervous system health and energetic functioning, vitamin D for bone and immune strength, and omega-3 fatty acids for heart and brain fitness.
Hydration: Maintain adequate hydration levels while you are awake.
2. Stimulate your brain
Physical activity: Regular exercise routines have been proven to enhance mood and cognitive function, so follow a personalized training schedule prepared for you by an expert.
Mental challenges: Engage in activities like mastering a new language or learning a new musical instrument, as they can prevent depression, reduce anxiety, and stimulate your cognitive-mental functioning.
3. Prioritize quality sleep
Enough hours: Make sure to go for 7 to 9 hours of continuous, undisturbed sleep.
Start a calming bedtime ritual: Set a comfy sleep space to help you de-stress and unwind before falling asleep.
4. Manage stress
Stress-relief techniques and breathing exercises: Try relaxation techniques like mindful meditation and deep (diaphragmatic) breathing.
Time management: Assign priority levels to tasks and manage your time effectively to de-stress and elevate one's emotional well-being.
5. Cultivate love
Positive relationships: Foster and nurture healthy connections with those close to you.
Acts of kindness: Perform regular and random acts of kindness to serve others and encourage happiness in those around you.
6. Embrace laughter
Find humor, enjoy life's little things, and keep positive influences and company around you.
7. Make time for play
Engage in activities and workouts you love, including hobbies, sports, or time with friends and family.
It is vital to always keep in mind that happiness is a lifelong journey. These steps form a framework for enhancing your overall well-being. Reasonable advice from a healthcare specialist or mental health professional for personalized assistance could be life-changing.
The techniques outlined in Daniel G. Amen's book have garnered worldwide acclaim and have been widely adopted, demonstrating their effectiveness in enhancing personal happiness. For example, Laura Clery, a well-known actress, comedian, and social media influencer, resorted to the One Page Miracle (OPM) exercise from the book to gain some clarity on her own life's purpose by tailoring her fundamental values to clear objectives that would nurture her "sense of being happy" once a sense of joy dims.
Daily habits for everyday joy: 'The Art of Happiness' by Dalai Lama
The book 'The Art of Happiness' by the Dalai Lama provides a spiritual outlook on happiness, nurturing joy, internal tranquility, compassionate nature, and overall well-being. Here are a few insights on daily practices offered as his guidance:
Mindfulness and meditation: The Dalai Lama promotes mindfulness meditation to boost awareness of the present moment and alleviate suffering. He recommends beginning your day with a brief meditation to soothe your mind:
"A disciplined mind leads to happiness, and an undisciplined mind leads to suffering."
When you eat, the spiritual thinker advises making an effort to be fully present and savoring your meal's flavors, textures, and nourishment. Additionally, take a relaxed walk and concentrate on the sensations in your body and the pace of your footsteps.
Cultivating compassion: The Dalai Lama stresses the significance of being kind to yourself and showing empathy towards others to find joy and satisfaction:
"Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive."
Acts of kindness: Carry out random acts of kindness for others, like holding the door open for someone or giving a stranger a sincere compliment:
"So, let us reflect what is truly of value in life, what gives meaning to our lives, and set our priorities on the basis of that. The purpose of our life needs to be positive. We weren't born with the purpose of causing trouble, harming others. For our life to be of value, I think we must develop basic good human qualities — warmth, kindness, compassion. Then our life becomes meaningful and more peaceful — happier."
Practice gratitude: Take a couple of minutes daily to think about what you truly appreciate:
"We need to learn how to want what we have NOT to have what we want in order to get steady and stable Happiness."
Compassionate listening: Practice giving undivided attention when engaging with others, demonstrating a genuine interest in their experiences:
"Compassion can be roughly defined in terms of a state of mind that is nonviolent, nonharming, and nonaggressive. It is a mental attitude based on the wish for others to be free of their suffering and is associated with a sense of commitment, responsibility, and respect towards others."
Inner peace: The Dalai Lama, being a proponent of inner peace, emphasizes that true happiness stems from inner contentment rather than external circumstances. Letting go of negative thoughts might be the key to staying content and at peace with yourself:"
Although you may not always be able to avoid difficult situations, you can modify the extent to which you can suffer by how you choose to respond to the situation."
Stay joyful and caring to yourself: Regular practicing and repeating positive affirmations can foster a positive mindset and self-esteem:
"In identifying one's mental state as the prime factor in achieving happiness, of course that doesn't deny that our basic physical needs for food, clothing, and shelter must be met. But once these basic needs are met, the message is clear: we don't need more money, we don't need greater success or fame, we don't need the perfect body or even the perfect mate — right now, at this very moment, we have a mind, which is all the basic equipment we need to achieve complete happiness."
Prioritizing self-care might also help, especially by participating in activities that promote physical and mental well-being, such as regular exercise, practicing relaxation techniques, and ensuring you get enough sleep.
Additionally, the author advises nurturing and deepening social connections by dedicating quality time to loved ones and expressing gratitude to them. He encourages readers to engage in activities that resonate with their values to contribute to a sense of purposeful living and solidify long-term happiness. Additionally, you are suggested to volunteer and help others to positively impact your community.
Readers should keep in mind that these are general recommendations. The crucial part is discovering routines that connect with you and making them part of your everyday schedule. By making persistent efforts, you can develop a stronger feeling of happiness and overall well-being.
Overcoming common obstacles to happiness: 'The Myth of Happiness' by Sonja Lyubomirsky
Sonja Lyubomirsky's "The Myth of Happiness" delves into various challenges that can hinder our pursuit of happiness. She offers strategies to overcome these obstacles, including stress, social media, and negative thought patterns.
Stress
Identify stressors: Recognizing the sources of stress in your life is the first step toward managing them.
Develop coping mechanisms: Engage in activities that help you relax and manage stress, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature:
"Happiness, more than anything, is a state of mind, a way of perceiving and approaching ourselves and the world in which we reside."
Set boundaries: Establish healthy boundaries to protect yourself from excessive stress:
"If you can, serve other people, other sentient beings. If not, at least refrain from harming them. I think that is the whole basis of my philosophy."
Social media
Limit screen time: Reduce your time on social media to avoid unfavorable comparisons and social anxiety:
"There is a Possibility of freedom from suffering. By removing the causes of suffering, it is possible to attain a state of Liberation, a state free from suffering."
Focus on positive content: Follow accounts that promote positivity, gratitude, and well-being:
"People who regularly practice appreciation or gratitude — who, for example, "count their blessings" once a week over the course of one to twelve consecutive weeks or pen appreciation letters to people who’ve been kind and meaningful — become reliably happier and healthier, and remain happier for as long as six months after the experiment is over."
Disconnect to reconnect: Take breaks from social media to focus on real-life connections.
Negative thought patterns
Cognitive reappraisal: Challenge negative thoughts by examining the evidence and considering alternative perspectives:
"By mobilizing our thoughts and practicing new ways of thinking, we can reshape our nerve cells and change the way our brains work."
Mindfulness techniques: Practice mindfulness to become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, allowing you to detach from negative thought patterns:
"Happiness is not out there for us to find. The reason that it's not out there is that it's inside us."
Positive affirmations: Repeat positive affirmations to counter negative self-talk.
Lyubomirsky emphasizes the importance of intentional actions to overcome these challenges. By cultivating positive habits and challenging negative thought patterns, individuals can significantly improve their mental and physical well-being and happiness.
The long-term path to fulfillment: How to feel joy again?
Finding happiness is not a one-time endeavor but rather a lifetime task that requires touching a spiritual realm. The authors tried to differentiate between "short-term happiness" and "long-term fulfillment" to recognize this principle:
Amen emphasizes the importance of immediate rewards, such as the pleasure of a delicious meal or the satisfaction of completing a task. He also highlights the significance of building a solid foundation for lasting happiness through brain health, healthy habits, boosting physical health, and strong relationships.
Lyubomirsky focuses on intentional activities that can cultivate lasting joy, such as gratitude journaling, acts of kindness, and meaningful relationships. Similarly to Amen, Sonja Lyubomirsky's method doesn't seem to be based on spiritual matters but instead focuses on the psychological aspects affecting happiness.
The Dalai Lama acknowledges the importance of momentary pleasures but emphasizes that they are often fleeting and can lead to dissatisfaction. He focuses on cultivating inner peace and a sense of purpose as the foundation for lasting happiness.
All three books recognize the importance of both short-term happiness and long-term fulfillment. While short-term pleasures can provide temporary enjoyment, they are often insufficient for lasting happiness. Building a solid foundation of well-being, meaningful relationships, and a sense of purpose is essential to achieve long-term fulfillment.
Happiness and life stages: A deeper exploration
While each of the three books presents distinct viewpoints, they offer valuable takes on finding happiness and rekindling a sense of joy at various points in life:
Young Adulthood (20s-30s)
'You, Happier': Daniel G. Amen stresses the value of forming healthy routines at a young age, including consistent physical activity, a well-planned diet, and sufficient rest time.
'The Myth of Happiness': Sonja Lyubomirsky emphasizes the importance of social ties and cultivating solid and close relationships at this point in life.
'The Art of Happiness': The Dalai Lama encourages young individuals to pursue their interests, passions, and endeavors that bring deep self-contentment.
Midlife (40s-50s)
'You, Happier': The writer highlights the importance of maintaining brain health and discusses strategies for controlling cognitive decline as people age.
'The Myth of Happiness': The author stresses the importance of having the ability to show appreciation and gratitude and uncover substance in our lives.
'The Art of Happiness': The philosopher encourages men and women in their middle years to contemplate their lives and consider "the aftereffects" they might be leaving behind.
Retirement (60s+)
'You, Happier': Amen provides plans for preserving physical and mental well-being in retirement, including staying proactive socially.
'The Myth of Happiness': In retirement, Lyubomirsky emphasizes the significance of re-discovering the purpose and meaning of life.
'The Art of Happiness': As a proponent of Buddhist principles, the Dalai Lama urges older people to develop mindfulness and compassion to discover inner peace and joy.
These books offer valuable perspectives on nurturing happiness at every stage. All the authors emphasize the practical significance of maintaining brain health throughout the lifespan, fostering meaningful relationships, and discovering purpose and meaning as elementary parts of happiness. By applying these approaches, people can facilitate their overall well-being and live with a greater sense of satisfaction.
Continue your happiness pursuit together with the Headway app
To continue your journey of studying the science of pursuing happiness in practice, check the reading lists prepared by the Headway app team: "71 Best Books About Neuroscience," "121 Must-Read Happiness Books," and "135 Best Mental Health Books." The authors on those lists explore profound and unique aspects of lasting happiness that can be experienced daily, covering a wide range of fields, including psychology and philosophy. They will equip you with valuable guidance on how to deal with personal challenges, embrace responsibility, and strive for a more fulfilling tomorrow.
