summary ofStop Checking Your LikesBook by Susie Moore

first KEY POINT

Avoid the approval trap for future happiness

Susie Moore did not have an easy upbringing. Dealing with an abusive, alcoholic father, caring for her depressed mother, and growing up in a woman's shelter, you can understand why she moved halfway across the world to find happiness! However, she also realized that satisfaction isn't always where you think it's going to be.At 19 years old, Moore married the man she thought she would grow old with, but over time, she realized that they were fatally incompatible. That didn't stop her. She assumed on her wedding day that everything was going to be fine from here on out and that she'd finally reached the point of total happiness. When it didn't work out, she started to feel bad about herself, assuming that she had let everyone down.This is something we all tend to do — it's not the problem that we feel so bad about. It's not the fallout for us; it's what we assume others will think of us due to what has happened. Put simply, we have a constant need for approval from those around us.

“Stop Checking Your Likes” isn't about social media at all; it's a metaphor for the fact that we have all become utterly obsessed with external approval, as though that somehow increases our overall sense of self–worth. Most of the time, we don't even realize we're doing it, but the cost to our happiness is massive. You can make your own choices, and you simply need to recognize that the only approval you need is your own.Moore calls this the “approval trap.”For instance, you might really love someone, but you know that your family will never approve because he doesn't have a high–flying job. As a result, you let the relationship slide. Perhaps you want to pursue a career in music, but the fact that your siblings are all doctors means that you feel duty–bound to follow in their footsteps. As a result, you abandon your dream for the approval of your family. Seeking out approval will never lead to happiness.