Summary of Daring Greatly Book by Brené Brown, Ph.D.

Narcissism is the standout feature of our culture. Because of this, we lack ​empathy to be compassionate and connected people.

We are ashamed and afraid to be “ordinary.” We fear not feeling extraordinary enough to be noticed, to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate our sense of purpose.

We are ashamed because we feel “never good enough,” “never perfect enough,” “never thin enough,” “never powerful enough,” “never successful enough,” “never smart enough,” “never certain enough,” “never safe enough,” “never extraordinary enough,” “never ….”

The shame, in turn, drives our society’s culture of scarcity; because everyone is suddenly hyper-aware of lack. Everything feels restricted or lacking. We invest sizeable time calculating how much we have, want, don’t have, and how much everyone else has, needs and wants. We compare our lives, our marriages, our families, and our communities to unattainable, unrealistic, media-driven visions of perfection.

Scarcity is the “never enough” problem or the “great lie,” according to Lynne Twist, author of The Soul of Money. In her words, “Our first waking thought of the day is 'I didn’t get enough sleep.' The next one is 'I don’t have enough time.' Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it. We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don’t have enough of. Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we’re already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something. And by the time we go to bed at night, our minds are racing with a litany of what we didn’t get, or didn’t​ get done, that day. We go to sleep burdened by those thoughts and wake up to that reverie of lack … this internal condition of scarcity, this mind-set of scarcity, lives at the very heart of our jealousies, our greed, our prejudice, and our arguments with life.”

We can deal with the shame and the culture of scarcity it causes by, not necessarily living in abundance, but by living “wholeheartedly” ― by being vulnerable and worthy; by facing uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risks, and understanding that we, in our individual capacities, are more than enough.