Growing Together or Growing Apart? How Ambition, Money, and Emotion Test Modern Relationships

Key takeaways:

• One in three (37%) of people admit they’ve felt like their partner was holding them back, while 40% feel they give more than they get out of their relationship.

• Some 35% admit they have felt embarrassed by their partner in public, with inappropriate jokes and behavior (21%) and a lack of ambition (11%) the biggest causes of blushes.

• Financial pressure is also a major cause of relationship issues, with 20% fearing layoffs will force them to take care of their partner financially, and 44% admitting money struggles have impacted their love life.

• However, despite the challenges, 82% say their partner has positively contributed to their success, while 77% feel supported when considering change or pursuing growth.

Love isn't all candlelit dinners and cuddles in bed.

It requires being a shoulder to cry on, making plenty of compromises, pawing over spreadsheets to keep track of the bills, and constantly considering someone else’s feelings.

Embarrassment is par for the course, ambitions are bound to clash, and relationship sacrifice is a necessary evil. It isn’t always easy, and it can often leave people feeling like they’re being held back in life.  

Headway app surveyed 2,000 adults on how relationship dynamics impact personal growth, where romance and ambition collide, and how money can complicate a happy relationship. The results show that, despite the challenges, a loving partner doesn’t hold us back – they help us succeed.

Not so happily ever after: How common is it to 'settle'?

It isn’t always love at first sight. Rather than finding a perfect match, 24% of people admit they settled for their partner, and 10% say their partner settled for them.

But the notion of inadequacy doesn't always come from within. Snarky suggestions, disapproving looks, and unwanted advice – 21% admit they have faced pressure from family or friends to find someone “better”. 

Heartstrings and headaches: Are relationships a boost or a burden?

Start a business, travel the world, go back to school… We all want to chase our dreams, but taking those risks can feel harder when there’s someone else to think about. That restriction can often breed resentment, with 37% feeling as if their partner has held them back.

You can’t expect your loved one to ease your doubts and encourage your growth without giving anything back. Relationships are two-way streets…but it can often feel a little much, with 56% admitting they sometimes or always feel like their partner’s therapist.

Relationships are hard work, and for many, it can feel like a full-time job with no salary. Some 40% admit they feel like they give more than they get in their relationship, with 25% keeping their feelings to themselves.

Cupid's pressure points: Issues that strain a relationship's growth

Even in a loving relationship, it’s not always rainbows and butterflies, with 35% admitting their partner can be a source of secondhand embarrassment – typically due to inappropriate jokes (21%), but often due to a lack of success (9%) and ambition (11%).

While inappropriate jokes and behavior may make couples roll their eyes, it’s personal development (or a lack of it) that’s most likely to cause blushes in public. For 25% of women, their partner’s financial situation or career development is the biggest source of embarrassment, while 11% of men say their partner’s lack of ambition leaves them cringing.

Financial stress: Are bills and budgets pushing couples apart?

When it comes to money in relationships, there’s no right approach. Some 21% of couples keep their bonuses to themselves, for instance, while 29% prefer to put it towards joint purchases, and 46% add it to their savings.

With finances often a sticking point when it comes to marriage, 51% of people would be willing to consider signing a “financial growth clause”, setting out just how intertwined their finances will be as they grow and develop together.

However, even for many couples who prefer financial autonomy, keeping track of spending is still a team effort. Some 52% admit they have “financial check-ins” with their partner, with 17% doing so regularly.

For 20%, there’s a real fear that the economic climate could throw their financial growth into chaos, with layoffs potentially forcing them to foot the bill for their loved one. And this financial pressure can come at a high cost to happiness and harmony.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can test it. From unexpected expenses to paychecks that don’t stretch far enough, financial strain has a way of creeping into the bedroom, with 44% of couples admitting economic pressures have already impacted their love life.

(A lack of) pillow talk: Hiding success from our loved ones

Relationships are supposed to be a partnership, not a competition. Yet, nobody wants to make their loved ones feel inadequate. So instead of celebrating when they take a positive step forward in life, 46% admit to keeping their achievements secret from their significant other.

After generations of being sidelined in the workplace, women are far more likely to shout their successes from the rooftops. Or perhaps they’re just more open and honest than their male counterparts. Either way, only 40% admit they’ve kept an achievement secret from their partner, compared to 57% of men.

Ride or die: Do partners have each other’s backs?

Yet, for all the fear of upsetting the balance, most see their relationship as a source of strength, rather than strain, with 82% insisting partner support has contributed to their success.

Behind every great man, there’s a great partner. Some 86% of men – and 78% of women – say their partner has contributed to their success.

For many, leveling up isn’t a source of jealousy or self-doubt; it's an aphrodisiac. Some 49% of people insist growth makes them more attracted to their partner, compared to just 1% who say it's a turn-off.

Support in relationships isn’t just about celebrating milestones. It’s about offering encouragement, boosting confidence, and providing reassurance every step of the way – with 77% insisting their partner has their back from the first step to the final outcome, good or bad.

Relationships are messy, especially when money, ambition, and desire are involved. But through the ups and downs, one thing is clear: we all want to grow, and having someone in your corner cheering you on makes the process that much easier.

Methodology: To create this study, researchers from Headway app surveyed 2,000 professionals of all genders, aged 18 and over. The survey was conducted in October 2025.

About Headway app

With over 50 million users in 170+ countries, the Headway app is the world's most downloaded book summary app. It offers 15-minute audio and text summaries of nonfiction bestsellers, as well as daily microlearning sessions and gamified challenges. The app is designed to help people achieve their self-development goals. Headway received the Editor's Choice award from the US App Store and constantly hits the App Store home screen as App of the Day.