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Why We Can’t Sleep

summary ofWhy We Can’t SleepBook by Ada Calhoun

14 min
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You’ll learn

  • What haunts Gen X women
  • Why money talks louder in midlife
  • How social media alters self-esteem
  • What makes self-care a midlife must

first KEY POINT

Why is Generation X perpetually disappointed?

We’re supposed to be happy. We’re supposed to be fulfilled. We’re supposed to be achieving at every turn. So, why are so many middle aged women frustrated, feeling like something is missing?Ada Calhoun asked a whole host of women in the middle aged bracket how they felt and almost every single one said the same thing — they thought they would have achieved more by now, they had more than they could ever dream of but still felt like something was missing, and that they simply weren’t happy. But, why? Why are so many middle aged women struggling in this way?

Many middle aged women feel unfulfilled. They were told they could have it all, but trying to have it all is exhausting and there are hurdles at every turn.

When you really examine today’s society, it’s not hard to understand why some hardships may come. Middle aged women are part of Generation X, born in the mid 1960s onwards. Generation X were told that anything is possible, that women could do anything, and as a result, many women made choices that their mothers and grandmothers didn’t get the chance to do. This is both a blessing and a curse.The message of “anything is possible” has caused women to want a quality career, a home life that is happy and easy to run, a bundle of healthy and happy children, and a relationship that makes them smile every single day. In addition to this, women want no money worries, security, and a sense of feeling complete. It’s too much to handle all at once, especially when you consider how difficult the working world is for women today.The average American middle-aged woman earns around $36,000 per year and once you deduct living costs, childcare and everything else, there is very little left for savings and general spending. It’s not possible to have it all but we’re told we can and that breeds resentment and disappointment. Without a doubt, the biggest stress issues for women are childcare and work, with money worries not far behind. It’s no surprise that 1 out of every 4 American women are taking antidepressants.

Many middle aged women struggle with guilt and stress. As a result, many are depressed and turn towards antidepressant medication to feel better.

Calhoun suggests that the main issue is guilt. We feel like we shouldn’t complain, but we’re stressed, we’re tired, we want more. At the same time, we have more than our ancestors ever did.

second KEY POINT

Extra possibilities aren’t always a good thing

Of course it’s a good thing when you have a wealth of possibilities, especially when you consider that women in the generations before never had even half of what is possible nowadays. But, a huge range of possibilities can simply cause extra pressure to be piled upon a woman who isn’t sure which way to turn and is second guessing herself at the same time.

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first KEY POINT

A common question — “Is this it?”

second KEY POINT

Money and job worries are rife in today’s society

third KEY POINT

Too many decisions to make simply causes stress

fourth KEY POINT

Single middle aged women have a whole bunch of other worries

fifth KEY POINT

Comparisons will never serve you well

sixth KEY POINT

The answer? Make it work for you

seventh KEY POINT

Conclusion

About the author

Ada Calhoun is a celebrated journalist and author known for her profound insights into women's societal challenges. Her work provides a crucial voice for Generation X, offering strategies for navigating complex midlife transitions.

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Frequently asked questions

What is Why We Can’t Sleep: Women’s New Midlife Crisis about?

'Why We Can’t Sleep: Women’s New Midlife Crisis' by Rebecca Traister explores the challenges and pressures faced by women in midlife, including societal expectations, career demands, and personal well-being. The book delves into how these factors contribute to a pervasive sense of anxiety and discontent among women as they navigate this transitional phase.

What are the key takeaways from Why We Can’t Sleep: Women’s New Midlife Crisis?

Key takeaways from Traister’s book include insights on the struggle for autonomy, the importance of community support, and the need for societal change to better accommodate women’s midlife experiences. Traister emphasizes the necessity of redefining expectations and embracing new identities during this critical period.

Is Why We Can’t Sleep: Women’s New Midlife Crisis worth reading?

Yes, 'Why We Can’t Sleep' is definitely worth reading, especially for women seeking to understand midlife challenges and to find solidarity in their experiences. Traister’s thoughtful analysis and relatable anecdotes make it both an enlightening and empowering read.

How many pages is Why We Can’t Sleep: Women’s New Midlife Crisis and when was it published?

'Why We Can’t Sleep: Women’s New Midlife Crisis' is 304 pages long and was published on January 7, 2020. This comprehensive exploration provides a deep dive into the midlife experiences of women.

What insights does Why We Can’t Sleep: Women’s New Midlife Crisis offer for modern women?

The book offers profound insights into the complexities of modern womanhood, highlighting issues such as mental health, career pressures, and the evolving roles of women. Traister encourages readers to confront these societal pressures and advocate for change, making it relevant and empowering for today’s women.