Today’s women are told they can have it all, because if they choose to, it’s true. However, have you ever stopped to think that infinite possibilities simply create pressure? More and more women are hitting midlife and starting to wonder what went wrong. Depression, anxiety, worry, feeling unfulfilled, these are all common experiences around the age of 40 to 50 years amongst women in the USA and further afield.
It’s time to shrug off the guilt, the expectations, and the pressure, and focus on what makes you happy. New York Times bestselling author, Ada Calhoun, helps you to see that it’s not just you, there’s nothing wrong with you, and you’re experiencing the same life hurdles as every other woman out there.
We’re supposed to be happy. We’re supposed to be fulfilled. We’re supposed to be achieving at every turn. So, why are so many middle aged women frustrated, feeling like something is missing?
Ada Calhoun asked a whole host of women in the middle aged bracket how they felt and almost every single one said the same thing — they thought they would have achieved more by now, they had more than they could ever dream of but still felt like something was missing, and that they simply weren’t happy. But, why? Why are so many middle aged women struggling in this way?
Many middle aged women feel unfulfilled. They were told they could have it all, but trying to have it all is exhausting and there are hurdles at every turn.
When you really examine today’s society, it’s not hard to understand why some hardships may come. Middle aged women are part of Generation X, born in the mid 1960s onwards. Generation X were told that anything is possible, that women could do anything, and as a result, many women made choices that their mothers and grandmothers didn’t get the chance to do. This is both a blessing and a curse.
The message of “anything is possible” has caused women to want a quality career, a home life that is happy and easy to run, a bundle of healthy and happy children, and a relationship that makes them smile every single day. In addition to this, women want no money worries, security, and a sense of feeling complete. It’s too much to handle all at once, especially when you consider how difficult the working world is for women today.
The average American middle-aged woman earns around $36,000 per year and once you deduct living costs, childcare and everything else, there is very little left for savings and general spending. It’s not possible to have it all but we’re told we can and that breeds resentment and disappointment. Without a doubt, the biggest stress issues for women are childcare and work, with money worries not far behind. It’s no surprise that 1 out of every 4 American women are taking antidepressants.
Many middle aged women struggle with guilt and stress. As a result, many are depressed and turn towards antidepressant medication to feel better.
Calhoun suggests that the main issue is guilt. We feel like we shouldn’t complain, but we’re stressed, we’re tired, we want more. At the same time, we have more than our ancestors ever did.
second key point
Extra possibilities aren’t always a good thing
Of course it’s a good thing when you have a wealth of possibilities, especially when you consider that women in the generations before never had even half of what is possible nowadays. But, a huge range of possibilities can simply cause extra pressure to be piled upon a woman who isn’t sure which way to turn and is second guessing herself at the same time.
In this insightful book, Ada Calhoun explores the unique challenges faced by women in their middle years. Through personal anecdotes and extensive research, she delves into the reasons behind the "midlife crisis" experienced by many women today. From societal pressures to financial instability, Calhoun uncovers the various factors that contribute to this phenomenon, offering a thought-provoking analysis of the struggles and resilience of women navigating this stage of life.
Who should read Why We Can’t Sleep
Women in their 40s and 50s navigating midlife challenges.
Anyone interested in understanding the modern midlife experience for women.
Individuals seeking insights into the unique struggles faced by women in midlife.
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Do you find yourself staring at your computer for long minutes, unaware of time slipping by? Do you enter a room and suddenly cannot remember why you stepped in the first place? Is it a herculean task for you to sit through ten pages of a book without reaching for your phone? If yes, your focus needs some work and fast.
Actually, yours is not a unique situation. Many adults like you have issues concentrating on a given task. However, in this fast-paced world of ours, you can’t afford to be not focused at all times. Thankfully, this article comes to your rescue! With the tips and tricks from Hyperfocus by Chris Bailey, you will get in the top percent of folks who have mastered the art of concentration.