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The Self-Driven Child

summary ofThe Self-Driven ChildBook by William Stixrud, PhD, Ned Johnson

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You’ll learn

  • About parenting styles that get positive responses
  • Handling children and stressful situations
  • How easily children adapt
  • Ways of expanding education beyond grades

first KEY POINT

The danger of taking away children’s sense of control

Parenting consists of many intricacies filled with various pitfalls and joyful moments. Raising a healthy human who will know how to be happy and function well in society is not an easy challenge. But don’t be scared — with enough knowledge and kindness, you’ll manage to master this challenge.One of the core concepts in parenting is handling control. Sometimes, we think imposing our choices on our children is easier. We want them to do the right things without mistakes, so we try to control everything they do.From a young age, children need to learn control and independence. They need to be allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. Through research on stress and motivation, Stixrud and Johnson realized that a perceived sense of control is a significant determinant of a child’s development. They concluded that a child with a poor understanding of being in charge could become stressed and unwilling to do any assigned task. Conversely, when children have a healthy sense of independence, they develop in many areas, such as autonomy — the ability to make an informed decision — and motivation.

Generally, people perform better when they control events or believe they can change.

The core idea is such: you can't control your kids. Instead, focus on teaching them how to do things and think independently. It will greatly help them succeed in life. Children have brains and should be allowed the freedom to use them; they only need your support. They also need respect and space to understand their tasks.Stay tuned to discover tips and tricks to being the best parent possible. Learn how to teach your kids to handle stressful situations and the most efficient ways to encourage their self-development.

second KEY POINT

Effectively handling stressful situations

Constant stress is detrimental to the brain. It is even more severe for children because their brain is still developing. Also, rates of illnesses caused by stress are at an all-time high, and several pieces of research show that depression is now the leading cause of disability worldwide. You might wonder what a sense of control has to do with depression and stress; the answer is everything. There are various sources of stress:Novelty: A new experience
Unpredictability: Something you have no idea would occur or not
A threat to the ego: If your safety or competence is questioned
Lack of control: When you think you have no controlWhen people feel in charge of a situation, their stress levels substantially reduce. This tendency explains why some people are more comfortable when they are driving than flying; it also explains why traffic jams are so annoying.Kids often argue that they can’t do their daily tasks alone because they want to control those activities. So, step back and let them do these tasks. This way, they get to do the important things without any fuss. People tend to perform better when they are at peace with no one watching their every move.

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first KEY POINT

Avoid embracing the role of dictator

second KEY POINT

Children can adapt quickly to moods

third KEY POINT

The value of self-motivation

fourth KEY POINT

Your body needs adequate rest to function optimally

fifth KEY POINT

There’s more to education than grades and classrooms

sixth KEY POINT

Conclusion

About the author

William Stixrud, PhD, is a clinical neurologist and a board member of the David Lynch Foundation. Ned Johnson is an author and the founder of PrepMatters, a tutoring service center in Washington, DC.

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Frequently asked questions

What is The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives about?

The Self-Driven Child, authored by William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, explores the importance of fostering autonomy in children. The book emphasizes how granting kids more control over their lives enhances motivation, resilience, and self-discipline.

What are the key takeaways from The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives?

Key takeaways include understanding the brain's development concerning autonomy and the risks of excessive control by parents. The authors advocate for giving children opportunities to make choices, as this can significantly impact their emotional well-being and academic success.

Is The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives worth reading?

Yes, The Self-Driven Child is a worthwhile read for parents and educators looking to empower children. Its practical insights into child development encourage nurturing independence, making it relevant for anyone involved in youth guidance.

How many pages is The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives and when was it published?

The Self-Driven Child spans approximately 320 pages and was published in April 2018. This engaging book combines research and practical advice to enhance the reader's understanding of child autonomy.

How can The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives improve parenting?

This book offers strategies for parents to cultivate a supportive environment that fosters self-discipline and decision-making skills in their children. By understanding the balance between guidance and freedom, parents can help their kids thrive both academically and personally.