It’s Not About You Summary

Summary of It’s Not About You Book by Tom Rath

Name: It’s Not About You
Rating: 4.3 (2205 reviews)
Author: Tom Rath

4.3 . 2205 reviews

Short summary

For many, selflessness sounds like a Buddhist mantra. Really, for a Westerner, what does it mean to be selfless — having no opinion or willpower? Hardly! Being selfless implies putting the interests and needs of other people first. Doing that doesn’t cancel common-sense acts of self-care and respect. You have yourself but helping others makes it worthwhile. Tom Rath, the author of It’s Not About You, knows well that life only becomes meaningful outside the self. Being diagnosed with multiple cancers, he was not expected to live past 40. Short of time, he wanted to make as much of his existence as possible. Notwithstanding the grim prognosis, he became a prolific writer who still teaches us how to make our lives truly meaningful. Rath is one of the most influential self-help writers. Indeed, his books contain that much power because they result from his challenging life experiences. Every word is lived through with pain and hope. “Life is not about you. It’s about what you do for others. The faster you are able to get over yourself, the more you can do for the people who matter most.” ~ Tom Rath

14 min

8 key points

8 insights

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Table of content

Summary of It’s Not About You
About the author
What is It’s Not About You about?
Who should read It’s Not About You
Topics in It’s Not About You

first key point

Dedicate yourself to helping others

Listen the first key point

00:00

Heavy advertising demands that we be happy, while the digital age commands us to dive headfirst into self-indulgence. We try to have the world revolve around ourselves, assuming that this is the ultimate meaning of life. Tom Rath disagrees with this line of thought. He believes that life becomes truly meaningful when we shift the focus from our personalities to doing good for other people.

Make your life worthwhile by improving that of the other person.

Helping other people indeed takes the energy away from you, but it can also be rewarding. Every time you have an emotional exchange with a person, you will get something in return. How can you disarm an angry person and have them rethink their attitude? You are right; all you need to do is smile at them first! Showing empathy and helping others have the same effect. You might wonder where to start. If there’s someone who needs your help, ask yourself, “What can I do for this person?”

We never know how much time we have to live. To some, death comes as a dear redeemer. Others fall into her prison all of a sudden. However, while you are still here, use your time, energy, and other resources to make something worthy for others. Your good deeds have the potential to live on even after you are gone. Helping others is our way of living forever. Nothing else can compare to being as rewarding as helping others before we die.

We have the opportunity, every day, to contribute to collective efforts and others’ lives. These contributions will live on, well beyond our brief life span here on earth. ~ Tom Rath

Even if you want to make others' lives better, you might feel lost thinking about where to start. Here are three steps that will help you focus on something more important than yourself. Tom Rath names these steps as:

Step 1. Overcome yourself.

Step 2. Dedicate yourself to significant others.

Step 3. Focus on what's left after you are gone.

This summary will help you learn how to let go of the things you cannot control so that they don't take up all of your life. Moreover, you will realize that the bulk of our problems comes from the self's sharp power. Without it, we can become stronger.

second key point

Step 1: Overcome yourself

“Self” is still a mystery. All the while, philosophers and scientists have been trying to exhaust its content. Yet, we are still far from getting the final answer. One thing is sure: our environment has a great influence on the way we are. We can change other people, and they also have an impact on us. It’s reciprocal. This idea is crucial today when we are ordered to engage in endless self-development.

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third key point

Step 2: Dedicate yourself to significant others

fourth key point

Step 3: Focus on what’s left after you are gone

fifth key point

Improve your brief encounters with strangers

sixth key point

You grow by following your contributions

seventh key point

Invest in something that will outlive you

eighth key point

Conclusion

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What is It’s Not About You about?

In this insightful and concise guide, the author shares valuable wisdom on how to live a meaningful life. Focusing on the power of relationships, gratitude, and purpose, the book encourages readers to shift their perspective from self-centeredness to a more compassionate and fulfilling approach. With practical advice and thought-provoking anecdotes, "It's Not About You" offers a roadmap to finding purpose and making a positive impact in the world.

Who should read It’s Not About You

Young adults seeking guidance on finding purpose and fulfillment.
Individuals feeling lost and in need of self-discovery.
Anyone looking to live a more meaningful and purposeful life.

Topics in It’s Not About You

Self-Help for Women Personal Development Meaningful Life Happiness Self-Discovery Finding Your Purpose Self-Care Self-Love Confidence Mental Toughness Life Coaching Positive Thinking Wisdom Goal Setting Resilience Mindfulness

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