summary ofHow to Be an Adult in RelationshipsBook by David Richo, Ph.D.

first KEY POINT

Love is beyond the butterflies you feel in your stomach

It is human nature to always risk love, despite past experiences or the terrible stories we hear. However, you must realize that love alone is not enough. Making your relationship work requires specific skills, which we'll consider shortly. But before that, let's be sure we're on the same page about love.David Richo defines love as giving and receiving the 5 A’s: Attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing.Here's how each one works in your daily life: Attention means putting your phone face-down during conversations, asking one follow-up question before sharing your story, and making eye contact when your partner talks about their day. Acceptance looks like saying "tell me more" when you disagree, avoiding the urge to immediately fix their problems, and letting them have bad moods without taking it personally.Appreciation involves noticing one thing they do well each day, thanking them for small gestures, and mentioning their strengths to others. Affection can be a hand on their shoulder during stress, a quick hug before leaving, or simply saying "I'm glad you're here" without needing a reason. Allowing means letting them make their own mistakes, supporting their goals even when they differ from yours, and giving them space to process emotions their way.All of these come together to fulfill our personal needs. Although the 5 A's are given to others, they make an individual more loved in the process.True love is necessary for all forms of growth, including psychological and spiritual. Love helps you forgive and let go of the past, allowing you to move on and love another person intimately.

Take a moment here to think about which of the 5 A's feels most natural to you and which one challenges you most.Next, we will reveal the secrets of healthy mature relationships in more detail. So stay tuned!