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Summary of Emotional Blackmail 

4.7 . 1357 reviews

Short summary

Emotional blackmail is perhaps the most common relationship-destroyer, affecting millions of people worldwide, yet it remains rarely discussed and difficult to identify. Susan Forward is a prominent author and a highly sought-after psychotherapist who combined her knowledge on the subject in a groundbreaking bestseller titled Emotional Blackmail. In her book, she draws on her extensive therapy practice experience to better illustrate the theoretical basis of the subject. This summary will help you understand and identify different types of emotional blackmail and how they can transform the relationships in your life. Moreover, it is full of valuable tips that can help you better your relationships and empower you to break out of the cycle of blackmail. It is your unique ticket to a world free of emotional dependence and full of inner strength and confidence. “It takes real courage to confront emotional blackmail. This book will give you the power to do it.” ~ Susan Forward, PhD

Table of content

  • Summary of Emotional Blackmail
  • About the author
  • What is Emotional Blackmail about?
  • Who should read Emotional Blackmail
  • Topics in Emotional Blackmail
first key point

The twisted vine of manipulation

Listen the first key point
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We sometimes hear about ransom and blackmail — they sure do make for a great action movie plot. But what about other types of blackmail that are much closer to our reality? Emotional blackmail is a silent companion of many relationships.

Whenever you leave a discussion with a friend or a partner feeling defeated, overpowered, and confused, chances are you've become a victim of emotional blackmail. It is a twisted way of getting what one wants through manipulation and guilt-tripping, and it is at work whenever there's an imbalance of power between two people.

All relationships are built on a give-and-take dynamic. Sometimes you take a step back and concede to the other person’s wishes, and sometimes they do the same for you. This is a natural process that often includes a bit of emotional blackmail on both sides. But, as with anything, emotional blackmail can become dangerous and damaging if overused.

A relationship overpowered by emotional blackmail becomes dangerous for both parties' mental and psychological health. The blackmailer sinks deeper into their hurtful tactics while the other person focuses solely on the needs of the blackmailer, forgetting to take care of their own.
Emotional blackmail is a form of manipulation in which the other person in a relationship can threaten to punish if they don’t get what they want.
Emotional blackmail hurts the most when used by the people closest to us. Not only is it because we don’t expect them to treat us so badly, but also because they use their intimate knowledge of our deepest fears and insecurities to customize their threats. For those who crave love and approval, blackmailers will threaten to take them away, aiming at the thing that hurts most to get what they want.

The following chapters will guide you towards clarity and understanding by providing you with the information and tools necessary to withstand and fight back against emotional blackmail. The guilt that a blackmailer has inspired in you will slowly fade away as you act in healthy and self-empowering ways.
second key point

Identifying harmful patterns is half of the work

Emotional blackmail is often difficult to see through. How can we notice the patterns of manipulation if the blackmailers keep bombarding us with mixed signals and tightly veiled threats?
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third key point

The four faces of emotional blackmail

fourth key point

A blackmailer’s tools are our feelings and emotions

fifth key point

Emotional blackmail is a duet of hurt

sixth key point

Visualize a new version of yourself

seventh key point

Take your new skills to action

eighth key point

Conclusion

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What is Emotional Blackmail about?

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