summary ofEight DatesBook by John Gottman, PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, Doug Abrams, Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD

first KEY POINT

There is a science to long-lasting relationships

The global divorce rate is scary.More than half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. In Portugal, it's 70 percent. The percentage varies in different countries, but it's still scary. And that's not to mention the number of unhappy married people.That should scare you. With the increasing number of dissatisfied couples, what are the odds that your relationship will last the test of time? Most divorced couples didn't see their separation coming when they first got together. Everything seemed to be going well until they got married and life happened.Based on research, couples who can make it into 7 years of marriage stand a better chance at a successful relationship. But we've all seen couples who have been married for decades getting divorced. Finances, infidelity, and parenting are reported to be the major reasons people get a divorce. But what the science found was that these reasons are only surface problems. There's more going on underneath and if that can be addressed properly, couples will understand each other better, become more empathetic towards one another, and increase their chances of staying together for a lifetime.The goal of these eight dates is to take you and your partner through eight topics that could potentially make or mar your marriage. The idea is to have conversations with your significant other on each of these topics and gain a better understanding of one another. While researching, John Gottman and other scientists asked volunteering couples to undergo the eight dates and report their experiences. Almost all of them reported finding things about each other that they didn't know before — and these couples ranged from people dating, to engaged couples, newlyweds, and those who have been married for decades. Their age range was 21-67, so this applies to everyone!

We'll get into the eight dates in this summary. Pay careful attention to the details and create time with your partner to actually go on these dates. Pay attention to the discussions you should have with your partner and affirmations to solidify your commitment — you will find them in this summary as well.