summary ofDidn’t See That ComingBook by Rachel Hollis

first KEY POINT

The reality of “losing” your identity

Whenever you encounter a negative situation in life, be it a death, a relationship breakup, losing a job, or anything else which causes you to feel like your world has been turned upside down, it’s very easy to feel like you’ve lost sight of who you are.Perhaps the most difficult part of enduring something in life which literally changes your view of the world is that you become someone different, someone new. You might not realize it at the time, but every situation we deal with in life changes us in some way. The problem is, you’re still trying to work through what has happened but you’re also trying to identify who you are in the here and now. It’s like your perception of the world has changed and the one thing that anchored you down, i.e. the comfort in knowing yourself, has gone. This causes what Rachel Hollis refers to as an “identity crisis”.

This can be because something has been taken away from you, something has been denied you, or you’ve decided that what you have isn’t something you want anymore. The truth is that no matter what has happened to you, you are still you. Sure, small parts of you may have changed because you’ve been through a difficult time, but at your core you’re still the person you’ve always been. Nobody can take your identity from you and the situation you’ve been through doesn’t define you.

You are about so much more than what you’re dealing with or what you’ve been through. For example, perhaps you’ve been diagnosed with a life-changing illness; you’re more than a patient. The only person who is allowed to define who you are is you.It’s important to understand that our identities do change a little over time as we learn and grow. Whilst those changes can be a little awkward or confusing at times, it’s important to see growth as something positive, whilst taking heart from the fact that who you see yourself as and your core values will always remain the same.