How to Motivate Someone: What Actually Works Long-Term

Have you ever given someone a pep talk only to see them quit two days later? Learning how to motivate someone means figuring out what actually drives them, not just what gets a temporary reaction.

Some people respond to external factors, such as incentives, deadlines, and public recognition. Others run on intrinsic motivation, which is the internal satisfaction that comes from doing something they care about. Most people need both, but which one matters more changes based on who you're dealing with.

We're covering when external rewards work versus when you need to tap into someone's personal reasons for caring. You'll see which approaches stick and which ones fade once the initial excitement wears off.

Headway is here to help, as our app offers motivation and leadership books in a 15-minute summary format. Discover what motivates people, as seen in experts like Daniel Pink, without dedicating hours to reading. 

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Quick answer: How do you motivate someone?

Motivating someone depends on what drives them and matching your approach to that:

• Give them autonomy, mastery, and purpose – Let people decide how they work, help them get better at something they care about, and connect their efforts to a bigger goal. These three elements stick longer than praise or rewards alone.

• Mix external rewards with internal satisfaction – Some people respond to incentives and recognition, others want personal fulfillment. Figure out which matters more to them, then use both when needed.

• Split big tasks into small wins – Overwhelming goals kill motivation fast. Break them into chunks that people can actually finish. Each completed step builds momentum for the next one.

Understanding motivation: intrinsic vs. extrinsic

Knowing when to use extrinsic or intrinsic motivation — or a combination of both — can make a difference in any organization. Selecting the right motivational approach for tasks can boost productivity, enhance job satisfaction, and help you achieve your goals more effectively.

Extrinsic motivation

Simply put, extrinsic motivation comes from external factors. It's driven by the desire to receive external rewards or avoid negative consequences. In marketing and sales, extrinsic motivation often powers many processes. For example, sales departments usually work on commission — the higher the sales, the higher the salary.

"Rewards can deliver a short-term boost—just as a jolt of caffeine can keep you cranking for a few more hours. But the effect wears off—and, worse, can reduce a person's longer-term motivation to continue the project." — Daniel H. Pink, 'Drive'

If you're a sales representative, your income primarily depends on commissions. The more products you sell, the more you get paid. In this case, the extrinsic reward is financial gain, a powerful motivator.

"Employee of the Month" is a classic example of extrinsic motivation. To earn this title, employees typically work overtime, participate in volunteer projects, or strive to exceed their KPIs. Recognition and possible rewards are extrinsic factors that encourage higher performance.

Social media influencers are a good example of people often guided by external motivation. The more likes, shares, and followers they get, the more expensive their ad posts become. In this case, the extrinsic rewards are social approval and monetary income, which motivate the influencer to publish content continuously.

Intrinsic motivation

Intrinsic motivation is fueled by personal interest or satisfaction from the task itself. This internal drive compels you to act without external rewards or pressure. It's one of the types of motivation that originates from within and is often linked to personal growth and self-esteem. Unlike extrinsic motivation, where external factors such as money or recognition act as motivators, intrinsic motivation is motivated by curiosity or a desire for self-improvement.

"The most powerful motivators — autonomy, mastery, and purpose — are intrinsic, and they work best when people are driven by their internal desires rather than external rewards." — Daniel H. Pink, 'Drive'

Some employees find intrinsic motivation in contributing to a positive company culture. They participate in team-building activities, inspire their colleagues, or take on corporate social responsibility initiatives. These actions often don't bring immediate tangible rewards but provide personal fulfillment and purpose. 

For some individuals, the social aspect of work is a crucial source of intrinsic motivation. They find satisfaction in cooperation and enjoy communication in the workplace.

Employees who strive for mastery overcome challenges, learn new skills, and improve their work. For example, a marketer may learn innovative digital tools not because they have to, but because they want to succeed in their field. 

For some entrepreneurs, the primary motivator is not profit but the satisfaction of customer needs. They derive great joy from seeing how their products positively impact customers' lives.

Companies that effectively set clear goals and explain how each team member contributes to those goals are more likely to attract such employees. Also, people motivated by autonomy value the ability to make choices and decisions independently. 

They prefer tasks where they have control over their actions and can bring their vision to life. Successful people with a sense of purpose find motivation to contribute to a cause that is more important than themselves.

"Human beings have an innate inner drive to be autonomous, self-determined, and connected to one another. And when that drive is liberated, people achieve more and live richer lives." — Daniel H. Pink, 'Drive'

The best approach to motivation is often a balanced mix of extrinsic and intrinsic motivators tailored to your business or team's specific needs and goals.

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Top motivational strategies to try in 2026

"The best leaders are those who develop others. In education, the best teachers are those who inspire their students to become lifelong learners." — Patrick Lencioni, 'The Motive'

Every great business starts with the people behind it. Uniting and inspiring your team is an excellent leadership skill. These techniques will also help you understand what motivates you, enabling you to move more cheerfully and productively in any sphere.

Techniques for the workplace

A competent approach to motivation can give the following advantages:

• Improved work quality and overall company productivity

• Creation of a positive and friendly team atmosphere

• Long-term retention of top employees (reduced staff turnover)

• Increased staff loyalty and responsibility

• Development of a sustainable corporate culture

Daniel H. Pink, a renowned businessman and lawyer, believes companies should focus on the next generation of employee motivation methods. In 'Drive,' Pink illustrates the essence of motivation with an interesting case study of Atlassian, a software development company. 

Every few months, management asked employees to devote a day to projects of their choice rather than their regular work tasks. The whole team discussed new ideas. Thanks to this, Atlassian was able to develop top-of-the-line software.

Pink argues that Atlassian found the key to employees' internal motivation by allowing them to make independent decisions, demonstrate mastery, and achieve desired goals.

Thus, the most effective ways to motivate are:

1. Autonomy is the ability to make independent decisions.

"People need autonomy over task (what they do), time (when they do it), team (who they do it with), and technique (how they do it)." — Daniel H. Pink

2. Mastery is the desire to demonstrate individual professional qualities and to excel in a particular field.

"The desire to get better at something that matters is a source of enduring motivation." — Daniel H. Pink

3. A goal is a desired outcome, an opportunity to leave a mark or be involved in something bigger than yourself.

"The most deeply motivated people – not to mention those who are most productive and satisfied – hitch their desires to a cause larger than themselves." — Daniel H. Pink

Pink says these factors encourage professional and personal growth, foster creative thinking, and significantly increase productivity. Such motivation is effective in the long term, as individuals understand that their work enables them to realize their full potential.

Techniques for personal life

Emotional competence in management and leadership involves being aware of one's own personal emotions and understanding the feelings of employees. Managers should be able to use this information to manage their interactions with employees and create a positive reinforcement environment.

Emotional intelligence refers to recognizing, understanding, managing, and effectively using your own emotions and those of others. Managers with high emotional intelligence can build rapport, navigate interpersonal dynamics, and motivate their team members to perform at their best.

There are several steps you can take to develop your emotional skills, including:

• Self-awareness

Be conscious of your emotions and attitude toward yourself and others. Take time regularly for self-reflection and ask yourself what emotions you feel, why they arise, and how they affect your actions and interactions.

"If we want to understand ourselves, we need to be willing to dig deeper, to confront the hidden motives that drive us." — Kevin Simler and Robin Hanson, 'The Elephant in the Brain'

• Development of social consciousness

Learn to be attentive to others' emotions. Practice active listening and communication skills to better understand their needs and feelings.

• Building emotional connections 

Emotional connections are a sign of trusting, intimate interpersonal relationships between loved ones (parents and children, husband and wife, and ultimately between family members and friends).

"People driven by a purpose larger than themselves are able to foster connections that are not only deeper but also longer-lasting." — Daniel H. Pink, 'Drive'

It depends on mutual understanding and empathy. An essential component of such relationships is the ability to listen and be heard, as well as the ability to express emotions openly and honestly. Intellectual proximity includes common interests, discussion of important topics, and exchange of ideas, which contribute to the intellectual enrichment of both parties.

"Leaders who understand that their job is to serve the people they lead, not to seek affirmation, build deeper, more lasting connections." — Patrick Lencioni, 'The Motive'

In a close relationship, there's an opportunity to freely and openly share personal thoughts and feelings, as well as discuss motivations and plans. The well-being and safety of the other person become equally important as one's own desires and safety in this relationship.

Close relationships create a positive emotional backdrop for self-development and self-disclosure, providing a sense of security. We feel more relaxed in such a relationship: we're not afraid to show our individuality, experiment, reveal deep feelings, or share our secrets. Emotional closeness gives a person a sense of support, understanding, and acceptance. It contributes to personal development and well-being.

"The truth about our motives is often uncomfortable, but it's essential for truly understanding ourselves and the world around us." — Kevin Simler and Robin Hanson, 'The Elephant in the Brain' 

Techniques for education and learning

What to do when there's a lack of motivation to study, read books, or no motivation to do sports?

"The work of a leader is hard, but it's necessary. The same is true for anyone who seeks to learn and grow." — Patrick Lencioni, 'The Motive'

Sit at the table, take a piece of paper and a pen. Write down why you started the activity you're currently unmotivated to do. The easiest and most effective option is to sit down and begin with ordinary tasks, such as opening a personal office, doing homework, or taking on a client's task. 

You can prepare by writing down the steps to complete this work. You likely have noticed how much you want to continue once you've started — you can't quit. The solution is to break down large tasks into smaller ones. Make a quest out of it.

"Setting specific, incremental goals helps sustain motivation because it allows you to experience regular small wins, which provide positive reinforcement and a sense of progress." — Daniel H. Pink, 'Drive' 

In companies, projects are not completed in one task: the manager approves the project, the designer creates the prototype and concept, and the designer then transfers it to the site. The stages take place in constant coordination with the client and other specialists. It turns out to be not one task but a quest. The result of the pursuit is money and reputation.

"Feedback is not just a tool for leaders; it's essential for anyone who wants to grow and improve." — Patrick Lencioni, 'The Motive'

Sometimes, motivation for study or work is optional. When you see people admire your work or simply say, "Thank you, everything is cool," you sit down and continue doing it. Therefore, we learn to receive adequate criticism, feedback, and praise. 

For example, consider finding a mentor or joining communities and online chats. And if there are none, create your own. Besides you, other people need motivation and support. It's more fun together.

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Recommended reading about motivation

Patrick Lencioni, a well-known business author and expert in leadership, teamwork, and organizational development, shared the story of a burned-out CEO in his book 'The Motive.' He told how the manager lost sight of the company's development and became confused about his motivation.

In the book, Lencioni clearly describes different leadership motives and makes recommendations for managers on managing a company and their team. A true leader creates, inspires, and acts proactively. The leader must be involved in the implementation, not just an executor.

A manager can talk endlessly about what they should do and how many work meetings they have planned. But if they don't understand "why" they manage the company and don't realize the goal, then all the operational stuff doesn't make sense.

Two motives motivate people to become leaders:

• The desire to serve: These leaders prioritize their obligations and responsibilities, recognizing that leadership entails challenging work and meeting high expectations.

• The pursuit of rewards: For these leaders, leadership becomes an incentive for years of hard work and is perceived as a means of achieving fame and financial gain. When leaders are solely motivated by reward, they often avoid difficult or unpleasant tasks that come with the role.

Develop your team

Real leaders must be engaged in developing interpersonal relationships between team members. They must ensure consistency in actions and words, give feedback, and discuss not-so-pleasant topics.

The leader's task is to foster mutual understanding within the team and continually improve relationships. This cannot be delegated to someone else and is no less important than setting goals, developing a company strategy, working with a budget, or marketing.

"Leadership is about accepting the heavy burden of responsibility, and it's not for everyone. But for those who embrace it, the rewards are deeper and more meaningful." — Patrick Lencioni, 'The Motive'

Have difficult and uncomfortable conversations

People management is not formal bureaucratic action (writing instructions, checklists, and rules). It involves providing assistance in determining the general direction of work for subordinates, fostering mutual understanding with them, delivering timely information, and removing obstacles.

When working with a team, some leaders refrain from conversations in which they need to highlight employees' problems and their lack of competencies or expertise. This is because managers feel uncomfortable and inconvenient in such discussions inconvenient. Lencioni argues that this manifests the leader's egoism.

"The best leaders are those who know how to hold people accountable, even when it's uncomfortable." — Patrick Lencioni, 'The Motive'

The manager, afraid of experiencing discomfort, makes subordinates experience it during certification, interviews, or when discussing salaries.

Hold engaging team meetings

Meetings are the venue where the most important discussions take place. If managers consider meetings to be a routine process, this leads to making bad decisions. Joint discussions are often perceived as ineffective and emotionally challenging; accordingly, the quality of decisions often leaves much to be desired. 

When the CEO conveys to his team that meetings are a "drag," department managers convey a similar feeling to their employees.

Provide clarity and direction for the organization

Regularly communicating corporate issues and essential information to your team is crucial. The author states that studies have proven that employees must hear a manager's message about seven times to believe and implement it. Otherwise, the speech is perceived as an ordinary (standard) message. 

Bad leaders think that repeating the same thing several times is a meaningless and intrusive process of disseminating information.

A leader must communicate frequently and extensively with employees at all levels to ensure they are aligned with the company's direction and understand their role in its success. 

Professional and good leaders often try to frame their clear expectations creatively. However, they are more concerned about people needing to be informed than about repeating the same thing repeatedly or in a standard form.

"Vision and clarity are not things you delegate. They are your primary responsibility." — Patrick Lencioni, 'The Motive'

'The Elephant in the Brain: Hidden Motives In Everyday Life' by Kevin Simler, Robin Hanson

Every day, many people lie to themselves and others. They have learned to say not what they feel, but what is socially acceptable, in order to get along with the environment and achieve their own goals. But the less they are aware of their ulterior motives, the better, because they don't even like the idea of being selfish.

This phenomenon is called "the elephant in the brain." People often dislike admitting their hidden motivations, making it a taboo subject rather than reflecting on its nature and understanding the reasons behind their behavior. 

However, these unconscious motives guide actions and influence various fields, including art, education, medicine, politics, and religion.

Kevin Simler and Robin Hanson focus on identifying these hidden motives. By doing so, readers can gain a deeper understanding of themselves and others, and learn to interact more effectively with one another.

The new world 

So why not recognize it? The fewer people who know about their unsavory motives, the easier it is to hide them from others. While few recognize such duplicity, avoiding it carefully prevents a clear understanding of human behavior.

In other words, many human motivations may seem unpleasant or wrong, and people often disguise them under the appearance of being charitable or valuable.

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'Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us' by Daniel H. Pink

Most people believe that the best way to motivate is through reward or punishment, a typical carrot-and-stick method.

"Autonomy isn't just about the work we do; it's also about how we relate to others." – 'Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us' — Daniel H. Pink, 'Drive'

Pink proves that this approach is wrong. He explains that the source of motivation is the third drive — our innate need to manage our own lives (autonomy), improve and create (mastery), and contribute to the betterment of the world around us (purpose). 

Companies that learn to create an environment that nurtures the third drive will have more productive and engaged employees. People who understand the mechanism of the third drive will learn to manage their internal motivation, feel fulfilled, and enjoy their work.

"The new world of work is driven by a new way of thinking about motivation. It's not just about high salaries or bonuses, but about the drive to contribute to something larger than ourselves. This is evident in the thousands of open-source projects, volunteer-driven initiatives, and community-driven innovations that span the globe." — Daniel H. Pink, 'Drive'

Headway teaches you how to motivate someone!

Figuring out how to motivate someone comes down to three things: autonomy, mastery, and purpose. Let people control how they work, help them improve at something meaningful, and show how their work connects to bigger goals. External rewards get quick reactions but fade fast. Internal drives keep people going longer.

Headway offers motivation books like 'Drive' by Daniel Pink and 'The Motive' by Patrick Lencioni into 15-minute summaries. Stop scrolling and learn what drives people without spending hours reading. Get methods you can use today with whoever you're trying to motivate: employees, kids, or yourself. Read or listen when you've got spare time!

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