summary ofUngluedBook by Lysa Terkeurst

first KEY POINT

Your thought system is a double-edged sword; it can either take you captive or free you, depending on how you wield it

To be unglued means to be upset, disorganized, and confused when you lose control of your emotions. We all get unglued but to varying degrees. Some of us tend to easily lose control of our emotions, while others seem to be able to control theirs. Frequent or not, we all have those moments when we've had enough and just act out in our unique ways. But it doesn't end there; after acting out, something potentially more devastating begins to happen: we feel guilt and condemnation. No one can save us from this feeling because it's locked up in our minds where only we can access it. That's the reason why it's so dangerous.

If you don't learn how to get over guilt and condemnation, you will find yourself repeating the same action over and over again. It sure feels like hell.Here's why guilt and condemnation reinforce the cycle: at the instance of acting out on your emotions, you could either blame yourself or the other person for what happened. Sometimes you blame yourself, and at other times you blame others — depending on your assessment of the situation. But in any case, you'd leave there feeling bad about yourself. The experience will reinforce the negative thoughts you have about yourself. You'd start reinforcing statements like: “I can never get overacting this way,” “I just have a bad character,” “I knew it, I can't change no matter how I try”.“I just did it again. God help me, I'm such a terrible mom,” and so on.The inner dialogue you'll have with yourself will be congruent with the ones you had in your head the last time you acted out. And this reinforces those thoughts, making them a solid part of you. This is why it's so hard to get rid of negative character traits. But there's a way out and that's what this summary is dedicated to showing you!