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Summary of How to Get On with Anyone 

4.4 . 113 reviews

Short summary

What we think of ourselves heavily influences what we think of others. Our thoughts are largely uncontrollable, but our reactions to those thoughts can make a huge difference in our lives. Many of us struggle to keep a relationship because we have no idea how to relate in a positive manner, and this happens when we can’t control the emotions that lead to our actions. This tidbit examines most of the problems associated with personal relationships and how we can overcome them with simple solutions. Catherine Stothart is a Leadership Coach and Team Facilitator who has been in business since 2002, with customers including Airbus, Audi, the EEF, KCOM, AstraZeneca, and United Utilities. She formerly worked at Ford Motor Company, Mercury Communications, and ICL in Human Resource Management and Learning & Development. “It is much easier to cope with challenges when we have physical, mental and emotional energy, but it is harder when we feel tired, drained and anxious. Having a plan to build up our resources is a key part of reducing the symptoms of stress.” ~ Catherine Stothart

Table of content

  • Summary of How to Get On with Anyone
  • About the author
  • What is How to Get On with Anyone about?
  • Who should read How to Get On with Anyone
  • Topics in How to Get On with Anyone
first key point

Much of our perception of other people happens unconsciously

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We automatically infer people’s mental states from their face, voice tone, and body language. Our inferences may be correct or incorrect, and as this happens unconsciously, it is next to impossible to know which is which. Furthermore, when we feel threatened, the unconscious takes over, and the more primitive parts of the brain react with the fight or flight response.
When communicating with other people, we pay attention not just to what they say but also to how they say it.
Faces and eyes are especially important, as our facial expressions often reveal our instinctive reactions to events. When talking to other people, our brain pays attention to the minute muscle changes in their expressions, and scientists believe that this is one way we send and receive signals about our emotions. We unconsciously mirror these expressions, and as a result, our brains experience and recognize the emotion our colleague is experiencing.
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou
Emotions are a part of who we are and what we do. With people, we sense emotions, even if we're not aware of them. We communicate emotions via facial and body gestures and voice; intense emotions, like fury and excitement, manifesting as faster speech, finger tapping as impatience, etc. The other participant may or may not see these body clues. Even if they sense our feelings, they may not recognize them. Although styles define differentiating traits, they do not govern action. A person's character, education, and environment all impact their decisions. As well, no model of human behavior can capture our individuality. But merging individual variations into patterns helps us understand ourselves and others.

This summary offers detailed methods developed by professionals on how to be better friends, lovers, colleagues, and acquaintances resulting in happier relationships.
second key point

Companionship can be both a delight and a source of difficulty in life

The things we do and say impact others in our immediate environment. On the other hand, we are not always aware of how our actions affect others. We can say the same about our ability to recognize and react to the feelings and ideas of others. Improved performance in these two areas will eventually lead to more rewarding relationships.
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third key point

Our interaction styles determine our reactions to events around us

fourth key point

We all have assumptions about others, one of which is that everyone is the same as us

fifth key point

A conscious change in the way we approach others can help increase our productivity

sixth key point

Believing that you are important, skilled, and likable helps you feel secure and improves communication

seventh key point

Conclusion

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What is How to Get On with Anyone about?

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Do you find yourself staring at your computer for long minutes, unaware of time slipping by? Do you enter a room and suddenly cannot remember why you stepped in the first place? Is it a herculean task for you to sit through ten pages of a book without reaching for your phone? If yes, your focus needs some work and fast.

Actually, yours is not a unique situation. Many adults like you have issues concentrating on a given task. However, in this fast-paced world of ours, you can’t afford to be not focused at all times. Thankfully, this article comes to your rescue! With the tips and tricks from Hyperfocus by Chris Bailey, you will get in the top percent of folks who have mastered the art of concentration.